Dealing With The Marauders

When I Return

Chapter 33: When I Return
-Bex P.O.V-

I woke with no prior recollection of anything happening in the past few hours or days, or however long it had been. My mind was reeling with questions as I sat up quickly, regretting my decision almost immediately. When my vision finally settled and my head wasn't pounding anymore, I took in my surroundings. The room was familiar, though I couldn't place it right away. I stood, though being sure not to move too fast and walked to the door.

My mind told me to flee, that I didn't not want to be here and memories of my torture flashed through my head. I had to go.

As I trudged down the staircase, trying my hardest to be silent, I heard voices whispering from just under me, near the bottom of the stairs. A flash of black hair came into view and a grin formed on my face. James.

His eyes glance up and meet mine. His hazel eyes make me feel at home and his smile makes me feel safe. He is frozen, watching me and I don't even think about moving. We stand where we are, just staring at one another for a good few minutes before he slowly makes his way around the corner post and up the staircase.

He stands on the step below me, and we are the same height. His hands shake as they find their way around my shoulders, pulling me into him. I find comfort in his embrace. And without even realizing, my hands grip at his shirt until my knuckles turn white.

It feels good to be back with him and I don't think I ever want to leave again.

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I don't know what to say or how to even form the words. So I won't say it. Instead I will say this:

It has nearly been a year, and I think I really needed that time off. But after so much time away from something I was so passionate about, it was hard realizing that it was do okay to return. For the longest time, I felt as though I could not return simply because I turned my back on it.

There were times I oh-so-badly wanted to click the button and open the app, but told myself no. Or times where I logged in and just stared at the empty page before logging back out. And, of course, times were I opened up my messages and read many of your comments about how much you missed me and how much Bex meant to you and how you needed me to come back; but deleted them and frowned at the orange icon as I went back to my home screen of my phone. And I'm going through one of those moments now, as I'm writing this message, hoping that you understand what I'm writing and forgive me for being gone so long, but in the back of my mind, I wonder if I should just delete this and erase my account.

I don't know when I will update next or what it will even be about. I just know that you guys deserve better and I'm not sure I can give it to you. But this is all I have for now. Please enjoy.

Much love xx