To Clear the Mind

Wishes

For you,

I've made more than a thousand. Each chance I get, I make a wish. Every time the wish is the same.

Return. Return. Return to me.

I've done you wrong. I admit it was my fault. It was never yours. I can't believe how many times I angrily blamed you, but I was just too afraid of admitting that I was the one who was wrong.

Oh, why did you have to leave? After you left everything just has seemed to suffocate me. I no longer find the joy in things I used too. I feel so empty, as if I'm just existing for the sake of existing. Everything feels like a blur, everything's just going by so fast. Hell, it's already been a year since you left and for me it feels like mere seconds!

I admit what I did was terrible. What I did was disgusting, uncalled for, what I did was indeed unforgivable. But that's all the reason more I'm hoping you'll forgive me- oh, take me back into your arms! Please, please I'll do anything! I'll turn back time, I'll change whatever it is! I'll change myself, entirely, for you and you alone.

Can't you understand that I still want you here?

But you don't want to be here.

We have boundaries, and we won't cross them. At nights we get drunk off of each-other and in the day we pretend to act as frenemies.

You tell me constantly you want to feel,
you want love again. You want to find that special person.

Deep down I know that I'm not that special person, but with the bitterness I lace over my heart I lie to myself every day that I can be, that I will be that person you desire.

But who am I kidding, right? You only see me as another person. Just another someone who's hurt you, betrayed you, lied to you.

You will never love me again.

But my love for you? Oh. My love for you is eternal.

From me.