wings bound

Chapter 1

Wings Bound.

2 YEARS LATER.

I am pretty sure my  heart was beating at the rate of 300 beats per minute.Like it did before every performance I'd done since last 2 years.Since my last concert in Los Angeles at Stapels Centre. Since May 20,2011. Since I performed in that LPD. A little pink dress. HE had given me. Blowing away all  his savings. We were so happy. All this while. Why did that night have to happen?We were content. We lived on the edge. But never drove our lives sharp enough to fall off.Why did we?Tears started filling my eyes and before I could stop them they rolled down ym cheeks. CRAP! If Andre and Cathy saw me crying they would kill me. They had taken HOURS to perfect my make up. Made sure the silver mascara was not clompped up, the bronzer not patchy and my red lips glossy. Dammit tears STOP.  Its been 2 years Shea I told myself.If he was Alive he would come. Wouldn't he? This thought lead  me to another long debate in my mind which I knew would eventually lead to it raining over my made up face. So i tried concentrating on the loud pop music and my dancers Stefan,Naina,Tara,Leslie and  Tim. They had been with me since 3 years and were my best friends here. Their dance got to a routine quite familiar to me. Soon enough I would have to enter. And perform like eveything was right in the world.Like everything was perfect. Like I was happy...This train of thought almost made me forget my entrY but the little microphone clipped to me barked at me to GO GO GO. I strutted alongside my  dancers and the crowd went wild. I knew I looked like a godess in my Silver and white shiffon mini dress and five inch Silver pumps. I sang my opening song 'Letters in gold' and the crowd sang back my lyrics to me and it reminded me why I wanted to be a singer again. This feelin on stage. This rush. This high. The love you got. I looked around the arena and it was full. JAM PACKED as HE would say. Oh god.This can't be happening again. Stop it Shea. You can't be this vulnerable. Luckily there came a part in the song where I was suppossed to be sad and CAN YOU BELIEVE IT be vulnerable."You made me stronger but now I'm so weak that I can't fly.You made me love you then why fly away like butterflies?It's been you all along who made my me live life on the edge.Then why push me away so I fall off and die again?" YES it was inspired by our love story and YES it made me cry. But this would just make it more real wouldn't it? I end the song and whole arena breaks into appaluase and hoots. Every tone, every decibel and every voice chants my name. But there's one voice different from everyone elses...its deep and hoarse...Its not chanting my name more like screaming...calling out to me. I would recognize that voice anywhere...It fills me with a longing and pain...HIS VOICE....I open my mouth to scream out but nothing comes out...everythings wet....whats going on?

My eyes open wide. I am cold and wet. And in shock.It was a dream? Again? This has been happening since a long time.It makes me cry again.

"Shea wake up..wake up you pig."screams Nina my 15 year old sister. "I am awake Nina now get off me." I splutter. "You need to come Im in trouble" mumbles Nina. I sigh and get out of bed. Nina gets in trouble everyday. I get up and look in the mirror. My silver dress is gone. Replaced by blue and white stripped pajamas mom got for me." It makes me look like a prisoner", I thought." But if this home isn't as good as jail I don't know what it is" I mumble to myself. This dream was so real. Unlike the many dreams I'd had for the past few months. I could feel the pain and somehow it made me wonder who HE was. It killed me. And what had happend to the Shea in my dreams?