Ileana: Katniss's Daughter

Chapter Six: The first love

     My sobs fell into my knees as I sat curled at the end of my bed. I pressed my forehead to the cool floor and lay down in the fetal position.

     It must have been hours later when I came back into conciousness. My face was still wet with tears. A whispered voice formed words close to my ear: "Ileana, are you awake?". It was Trace. Only then did I realize that I was laying with my head on his lap. I took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. I shifted my weight to look at him. My best friend, was so beautiful in the fading light of the day. His dark hair falling in his eyes - those eyes that held such love and concern. In those eyes I realized just how much this would hurt him.

    "When did you come in? I- I don't really remember..." I trailed off

     "It's been hours since I came in, it's ten....you were asleep though - I just couldn't wake you."

     "Where are my parents and Gale?"

     'They are downstairs....You're to leave at morning light." Tears sprang to his eyes as he gazed down at me and I sat up so I could look at him. Shakilky I put a hand out and cupped his cheek. I tear escaped down his face, wetting my palm.

     "Trace-" I breathed as I shot forward to embrace him. "How am I going to do this without you?" I wailed into his shoulder.

     His big hands grasped my arms just above my elbows and pulled me away from him. "You are so strong...you never needed me, not really. I-I...." and then he did the unthinkable...what I had refrained from for several years now. He kissed me. Sweet and soft on my lips.

     I gasped against his mouth, my body stiff with indecision. I was not an idiot, I was aware of his feelings for me but I had always been too afraid to act on them...afraid that the specialness between us  would be destroyed. A brief realization released me from my fear: I had nothing to lose. Nothing. I might be dead tomorrow and if I was, I would regret not taking this chance. So I kissed me back. I parted my lips and threw one arm around his neck, the other resting on his muscular chest.

     He nibbled my lower lip with his teeth. Then he pulled away. Before I could protest he presed his lips to my nose, then a kiss on each eye, my forehead and down my neck before coming back to my lips. He pecked me a few times before planting a hard kiss on my lips. He ran his soft tounge up over my mouth, I parted my lips in response, suddenly eager to experience as much love as I could before life as I knew it ended. his tounge swirled against mine, as our mouths did an inexperienced tango. It was so beautiful, so sweet, so tender. So - salty?

      I pulled back at the taste. I touched a finger to my cheek, tears. I was crying....so was Trace. For a moment I had forgotten that I might never be able to do this again. I stood up - too fast. My head spun and my legs felt like jello beneath me. I turned away from my best friend and began to shake.

     Trace stood behind me, He wrapped an arm acorss my chest and I leaned my head into the crook of it. He dipped his head down to my shoulder. "It's late." He whispered into my neck. "I should be getting home..."

     Suddenly I was deperate - "No don't leave me, not tonight. Please, Trace. Stay." I turned to face him and put my hands on his shoulders, hoping that my eyes would convey jsut how much I needed him here with me.

    He hesitated, and then "okay, Ana, I will stay. I'll stay." He pulled away from me. "Give me one minute okay?" I nodded as he scooted toward the door, already dialing his mom on his phone. I slipped to my bathroom. My face in the mirror was unrecognizable. I relieved myself and rinsed my face with cold water I released my french braid and let the waves of hair fall onto my shoulders.  I pulled off my shirt and tearstained jeans, yanking a silk robe around my body. Much better.

     I stepped back into my bedroom to find Trace waiting on the end of my bed holding a plate of food and wearing a meloncholy grin. I pulled an oversized t-shirt out of my dresser andtossed it at him. "Here," I said, "I'd give you pjs or pants but I don't think mine would fit you."

     "That's ok," he said softly and picked up the shirt as he stood. He offered the plate of food to me.

     "I'm not really hungry, actually." I said, though my stomach growled in protest. I set the plate on my bedside table and turned away so that Trace could change.

     I bent my head, but couldn't resist sneaking a glance in my mirror. His t-shirt fell to the floor as he slipped into my shirt. He looked confused for a moment but then he reached down and undid his jeans to expose his boxers. I blushed and looked away. The bed creaked, alerting me to Trace's prescence.

     The sheets were cool against my bare legs as I crawled into my bed. It felt unfamiliar with another person in it...the last person I had slept with had been my mother and that was years ago. I rolled onto my back and sretched out until my foot hit Trace's leg. My eyes met his and I snuggled closer into his warmth. He rolled so that we were spooning and it wasn't long before the darkness was too much for me to bare....