Under the Water (Book 1)

twenty-four

 A.N- Dewmist- This song is so perfect for the chapter and the rest of the book basically! That being said here is a kinda short chapter!

I feel an odd sense of happiness surge over me in a rush. It overtakes me, drenching me in a warm wave, making me shiver. I wasn't always engaged to Ansell. Ansell was just a backup, never meant to happen. Quinn however... He likes Larkken. But I think I ruined that chance a while ago. Or I never had it, either way I know he hates me, the least I could do is see why, other than he doesn't share the same feelings as me. I feel stupid for thinking he ever liked me, that our kisses meant something. I wish that our time together sent a fire through him, like it did to me. 

 Around my father's office I see all of the past rulers stare down at me, all waiting for me to do something. To be worthy of the crown. I want them to be happy, I just want to do the right thing. My father watches me go through all of these emotions, not speaking to me, until he ruins it by saying before I can do anything;

"Change of plans, you are getting married tomorrow. We can't wait any longer." I look at his face, wanting to believe that he is kidding. That he doesn't mean this. I don't want that. I need more time.  I don't deserve this.  I know my crimes, I know that I haven't proved myself to him yet. 

When I look away I know that I only saw one thing in my father's face, determination.  Determination for what, my unhappiness, my dread, to plunge my hope into a dark corner, afraid to show its face to the world?

"Alright." I whisper, quietly closing the door behind me when I leave, unable to look in his eyes, afraid to betray him.  When I close the door I can't help but notice how Kaidenn is watching me, waiting.  I refuse to make eye contact, for if I do it might bring me to tears.

I leave Kaidenn in the hallway, him watching me, leaning into the wall, bored while watching Annabelle dance. I know what he's thinking. He wants out. 

I don't blame him.

Warning to anyone; the rest of the books will be PG-13 if it wasn't obvious. 

When I am halfway up the stairs I hear giggling coming from Ansell's room, a small giggle I know well. Naturally I walk to his room and peek inside. Not only do I find Ansell and my best friend, Rani, but I see them laughing and Ansell isn't wearing his shirt but it's on Rani and she is in his arms, stealing laughs and kisses. All she wears is his shirt, nothing else. I watch them for a second, letting tiny tears stream down my face, knowing that they won't see me, for they see each other all too well. Right before I pull away I hear Rani moan and whisper, slightly a bit more, a seductive tone in her voice;

"I want you all to myself, Scarlette gets nothing." He smiles and answers her statement with a grin and;

"I couldn't agree more." She smiles and they start kissing again, not even seeing me. Those tiny tears make their way down my face slowly, not enough to smear my mascara or any other parts of my makeup. 

It's not like I'm suprised. I can remember his lips on Rani's the first day we met.  I guess that spark grew into a flame. 

All flames die out though.

When I take that last step in these god-awful heels into my giant room that I will be leaving tomorrow to sleep in the same room as Ansell. The thought of my best friend, a self confident, self helping, perfect royal, taking advantage of my future husband, not to mention him letting her, makes me sick. The whole situation makes me sick.

After those few tears the anger brews to the surface of my thoughts and I can't help but think, they are both so sick, gross, disturbing, maybe that's why they are perfect for each other.  It makes me want to go down that small staircase, hidden at the bottom of the closet and run into Quinn's arms, where I can cry without judgement. 

Not anymore. He loves someone else. He wants his friend, not me. 

I tear off my shoes and hairstyle, my dress, all of these artificial things, taking off my makeup. Taking everything off to see one thing. 

When I'm done and I am wearing a pair of leggings that go under my dress and a plain tank top, only then do I take a look in the mirror at myself. 

I suppose in a way I have never really seen myself.  I have only seen the parts in myself that everyone else sees. But before me, a girl with blotchy eyes and a whole load of emotions, feelings, and pure, whole, human. 

The girl in front of me is not a royal, not engaged as a teenager, but she is a living breathing soul.  I'm now ready for the thing that I used to fear.  I am ready.

I just guess that getting there was a blur, walking down to the servants area, draped in one of Kaidenn's cloaks he stashed in my room for nights he went out.  It's not cold outside, the temperature of these domes is always the same. 

Nobody sees the frail girl with nothing leap into the storage cart. Nobody sees me. Maybe it's because I am no longer Princess Scarlett, the glittery royal with the bright red hair.  I don't want to be the person I used to be.  They can't see me without all the makeup and dresses. 

  It took me years to figure out I  wasn't the person that my father, my family, the Aurum imperium wanted me to be. I am my own person. It took me to lose someone that I couldn't see without. I think back to an hour ago when Kaidenn was staring at me, telling me he wanted out with his eye. I didn't blame him, however only one of us gets to leave. 

But now see, crystal clearly. 

I know I am alone. 

I want to be free and nobody will get in my way. 

____

Short chapter, the next one is like craploads long. This got Scarlett's feelings out in the open for me to see, for you to see. For her to see. So Yeah!

Thx