Logic before loyalty.

Chapter two: Initiation.

Chapter two: Initiation

The initiation process is very different compared to other factions. We get allocated into groups and we have to work on several projects in which will be marked and graded based on our abilities during each stage of the initiation.

My group included Sarah Cassidy a Candor transfer, Mark Jones an Erudite born and Mia Thomas who’s also an Erudite born. We work well together on a whole but I have always preferred independent work. I enjoy my own company and find it relaxing to be alone with my thoughts. I can structure my work accordingly and get it finished to an exceedingly high standard that I set myself for each task.

On what I thought was a normal day I find myself in the library reading about human characteristics when Mia Thomas walks up to me holding what looks like a letter. I steal my gaze away from what I’m reading to look at her.

“I think you better have a look at this” She says with a worried expression.

“What is it?” I reply concerned as to what it is. For a brief moment she looks around the room, a bunch of young erudite giggling in the corner. Only to then turn her gaze back to mine.

“It’s from Andrew” She whispers. Did I really just hear that? I think. I look at her in shock, not believing for a second that it’s true.

“It can’t be from Andrew, not after what happened before the choosing ceremony.” I say shaking my head in disbelief.

“Well I guess you better read it then” She says confidently as if she has a point to prove. Before I can reply she walks off and heads out of the library. After finishing what I was reading I stand up and walk to my room so I can read the letter in private. I walk briskly down the hallway, feeling purpose in every stride I take. I make sure I do everything briskly these days as there is no time to be spent being idle, which was something I learnt from a very young age. I get to my doorway and reach for my keys, cold in my grasp. Quickly I unlock the door and walk in only to then close it shut behind me when I’m in. I breathe a sigh of relief being in the comfort of my own privacy. I sit down on my neatly laid bed and open the letter cautiously. The handwriting is scruffy and there are blotches of what seem to be tears, making the writing smudge. I automatically look to the bottom of the letter to see who it is from and just as Mia said it is from Andrew Prior, the boy who promised to never leave me, who would always be there for me when no one else was but like most promises the people who make them fail to keep them. Another disappointment I have gained during my life so far with the substantial probability of more to come. I start to read the letter which says…

Dear Jeanine,

I don’t know where to start so here it goes.

Lately I have been considering where I belong in society. I feel as If I am to pick between a certain virtue I value more then the rest. I believe equally in all the faction’s virtues but to pick one to me is just impossible. I know by the time you are reading this we will have both made our choice but as a matter of fact whether I am happy about it I am uncertain. I was told I could not discus my aptitude test results but as I found out insurgence is one of my qualities so I am going to tell you just the same. As you have probably guessed by now I have received Abnegation as a result but I some how feel as if the test administrator lied to me or even gave me a false reading. None the less I am truly sorry for what I have put you through. My actions are inexcusable and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

What has happened between us could never split us apart but as the day draws near I already feel as if you are slowly slipping out of my reach. You have become a different person from the happy, life loving girl I knew. Instead you have turned into a cold, knowledge thirsty excuse for wanting to help create a perfect utopia of prosperity and intellect. I know this may sound harsh and unnecessary but it’s the truth, I just want the old Jeanine back… The girl who could always help when you had a problem, the girl who devoted all her time to the people she cared about, the girl who I will always love no matter what. Just remember our choices don’t have to change who we are, no matter how we are conditioned to think and act.

Yours truly, Andrew Prior the boy with regrets.

Astounded I put the letter down on my bed. Why would he write such horrible things? I know we didn’t get along to well before the choosing ceremony but he should have seen sense by now. Out of nowhere I start to think about the argument we had before leaving for the choosing ceremony. The convulsion that followed is blurry in my mind. It all happened so fast and I was too infuriated with how inconsiderate he was acting to even think about my choice of words. It was as if I was speaking to another person because never before have I heard him speak like that to me. The controversy continuously replays in my head, so much so tears start to form on the periphery of my vision. I blink them away furiously and scrunch the tear ridden, ink stained paper with rage and chuck it in the bin beside my desk. There’s no point in keeping something like that when all it will do is keep you from the real things that matter like my quest to seek a great perhaps. My vast emotions start to build up and I cannot contain them anymore. All my troubles surfacing to the fore front of my mind. Making all my fears and worries more apparent that no matter how much I try I cannot fathom a way to dismiss them from my mind. Perhaps I could speak to someone but then I would be conceived as weak and inefficient by letting my emotions cloud my judgment and work ethic. Then again we will be allowed to visit our parents tomorrow so I could always speak to them, even though telling them about my aptitude results would be risky it would be worth the effort just to get advice from the only people I trust in this world. With my mind now made up I have decided on a plan of action and hopefully my dilemmas will be sorted. My parents always know what to do in bad situations so I don’t see why they can’t help me as well. I guess I will have to wait and see until tomorrow so I can know the full answer to that question but in the mean time I have to get some rest for the big day ahead. I get dressed for bed and put my blue framed glasses on my bedside desk only to then put my light out and go to sleep.