Logic before loyalty.

Chapter four: Forgiven

Chapter four- Forgiven

“Jeanine what are you doing here?” Andrew asks with an exasperated look on his face. He holds out a hand and offers to help me up. Typical Abnegation I think and accept his help. I take note of how different he looks. His navy blue blazer replaced by a grey shirt. His smart well-tamed hair changed to tousled locks. His confident smile stolen for a weary expression. I cannot help but miss those little characteristics that made him Andrew the boy from Erudite not the boy who transferred to Abnegation. Since he left this is the first time I have admitted to myself that I may actually miss him, no matter how hard to believe it may be. My cheek on the other hand has stopped hurting and is left with a numb tingling sensation, no longer damp with tears.
”I-I don’t know Andrew. I just had to get out of there,” I say with a recollection of previous events at my parent’s house.

“Get out of where?” He asks with the old erudite curiosity that is in every one of us faction borns.

“My parent’s house” I mumble feeling stupid for troubling him with my presence.

“Why? What went wrong…? Sorry it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it” He responds with a caring tone.

I remember what my mother always told me about disregarding emotions for once she may be right about keeping certain things to me and me alone, but this is not the case. I need to talk to someone even if they do not get the full picture.

With a heavy sigh, I respond, “I went to see my parents for visiting day. I needed to talk to them.” I paused trying to gather my next few sentences as to which I would explain everything. “I told my parents about something. I knew I should not have but it was the only way I thought I could clear my thoughts of all my troubles. My parents were distraught with the grief I bared on them but none the less, I asked for help. Luckily, they decided to help me so I went upstairs with my mum up into her office. That was when it all started” I paused again remembering it all.

“My mother talked to me about my problem but then made a remark about how I kept everything to myself. I made a remark back at how I was learnt to do so which she did not approve of. All within a matter of minutes, my mum was shouting at me about how all of her ways of teaching me was to protect me but of course, I knew it was all lies. I needed to get out of there Andrew…” I looked at him trying to read his expression but with no avail.

“I head to the door to leave but my mum stopped me. Her grasp on my arm was hard to get free from so I did everything in my efforts to get away quickly. Therefore, I responded to her harsh comments with a burning anger I had never seen before. Then she slapped me” Tears well up and I begin crying again. Never have I felt so broken, since when did I become so fragile and vulnerable to the outside world. I may never know. “When I was able to get free from her I ran out of the house. That’s when I came here” I wipe away my tears knowing that my sorry sight will not win me any favours after our last encounter.

“I’m sorry,” He says at last breaking the silence.

“I should of notice that you were acting different before I left. I never guessed that you were upset. I just thought you were changing because you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore since I chose to depart from Erudite and chose a separate life,” He continues.

“No, its okay you weren’t to know. I thought you hated me judging by what you said in the letter” I fake a smile.

“Look let’s just put it all behind us. Are we still friends?” He smiles warmly like the old Andrew I used to know. I nod in agreement

“Friends” I smile back and for once, it was not for show. It was for real.