Skinny Love (Fred Weasley)

Chapter 22

I woke up in the hospital wing, my blood shot eyes flicked open. There was an aura of grey around me and I couldn't explain why. I felt a terrible weight on my shoulder, it was as if a giant had laid on me and I couldn't straighten up. Last night's memory played in my head like a horror movie. I felt my head is going to split with those unbearable truth. Cedric...Voldemort...my mom...Harry...I broke down into tears, my entire life seems to be a big fat lie. I abhor crying, I absolutely hate crying. I hate the suffocating feeling of drowning myself in those puddle of tears. I hate those irritating hiccups you get after crying. And I hate how crying makes me feel fragile, like I would break if someone simply tap me. Yet I couldn't stop all those tears pouring down my swollen eyes. I sucked in a sharp breath when I saw Professor Dumbledore standing in front of my bed. He walked over and patted my back, "Let it out, my dear." And I did, I let out a, perhaps, the world's most ear piercing scream ever; so loud people would have mistaken me as a banshee. I screamed out all my anger, frustration, hatred, and grief. "Here, drink this my dear. Calming Draught." Dumbledore handed me a flask. I gulped down without hesitation. The effect was instantaneous; I feel my heart beat is back to its normal pace and I can finally breathe in the fresh air. However, the heartache is still there. I simply could not understand why out of so many people, it has to be me. It seems like I have no one else to blame, I can't wrapped my head around everything. I felt a loss of identity....I'm a nobody and should be better off dead. I closed my eyes, "Why, Professor? Why?" I murmured sadly. "Follow me if you wish, dear. Severus is in my office." Dumbledore replied. I pushed myself out of the bed and followed him. Hogwarts seemed less alive than usual, our footsteps echoed in the empty hallway. "Sherbet Lemon." Dumbledore said the password as we entered his office. Severus pacing back and forth and his pacing stopped when he saw me. A weird, unexplainable feeling came up to me, I look at the man who had raised me, care for me, yet lie to me for my entire life. Yet when I saw his usual cold eyes are now full with sorrow and concern, I rushed over and embrace his warmth. "I'm sorry." Severus said heavily as he patted my head like a small child. My eyes watered but I managed to blink back my tears. "Take a seat, Alvina, if you please." I nodded and do what I was told; I felt Severus standing behind me, his hand never left my shoulder. "Where's Harry?" I asked. "Harry is currently with Sirius, he is fine." Dumbledore replied. I sighed in relief. "I'm sure you're yearning for answers for the past, present and future. And I'm going to do my best to help you, Miss. Castillo." I cringed at my name, is that even my last name? Dumbledore began, "Your mother, Danielle Johnson is a bright witch from the Slytherin house. Every teacher spoke very highly of her. Danielle is an interesting person; she could be as bright as the sun ray but dark as a dungeon if anyone messed with her. I see some similar trait from her on you, Alvina. Voldemort isn't in Hogwarts that time but I do know the Johnsons are quite close with him; so that explains why your mother would be in contact with Voldemort." "Are you telling me my mother is a disgraceful cheater?" I said in disbelief. Dumbledore shook his head, "No, I knew your mother, she would never. Let's put it this way, Voldemort shared a feeling for your mother that isn't mutual. I think you know this by now, Voldemort had done awful things to gain what he desires; your mother included." My lips quivered, I feel sick to the stomach. "Does he know? My dad, no, I mean Marcus Castillo..." "Yes, and your mother and Marcus love you unconditionally. They died for you, Alvina. Marcus and Danielle Castillo are noble beings that are worthy of your honor." Severus gave my shoulder a light squeeze. I felt my questions being answered yet I still felt like a lost puppy. I took a few steady breath and said, "This isn't fair! Why me? I don't even know myself anymore! This is too much and you guys are expecting me to handle it? Guess what? I can't!" My voice turned out to be louder than I intended to be. Dumbledore replied with great compose, "I understand, Alvina. We didn't expect you to simply accept the truth after being misled for so many years. But acceptance is the first step towards recovery; and you will not be alone." My lips trembled, "So those nightmares were memories?" "Yes, you and Voldemort have an unbreakable connection; he probably transferred some of his thoughts to you unintentionally." Dumbledore replied. "Voldemort mentioned there's a death eater working for him in Hogwarts!" I said worriedly. "Ah...yes and we found him." Dumbledore said with a slight hint of anger in his voice, "Barty Crouch Jr. disguised himself as Madeye Moody using polyjuice potion. We had everything sorted out last night when you returned. Is there anything else you're concerned about?" he asked kindly. "Is Cedric..." I trailed off, refuse to believe what happened to Cedric last night. Dumbledore frowned, "Yes...it was a great loss for all of us." I stared at Dumbledore, too numb to say anything. "What's going to happen to me? Voldemort is going to kill me..." my voice came out like a whisper. "I will not let that happen." Severus said firmly before Dumbledore could open his mouth. I looked at Severus with worry, "You weren't there last night...he was mad..." "Don't worry about it, I took care of it." Severus said. "So you're really a double spy?" I asked in shock. He nodded, not saying anything else. I'm related to Voldemort, Moody isn't Moody, Severus is a double spy. What now, Dumbledore is a unicorn in disguised? "Severus and I will ensure your safety this summer, Alvina. You may leave and find your friends now if you wish." Dumbledore said quietly. I forced a weak smile to Dumbledore and Severus and got up from my seat. Just when I was about to exit the office, Dumbledore called, "Alvina," I hesitantly turned around, feared that there's more mortified truth to come. Instead, he said, "But aren't we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?"