Please, Stay- A Stydia AU

Tanner pt. 2

An accident. Lydia had been in an accident. There was an accident. An...

His thoughts trailed off as his fingers raked through his messier than usual hair, his elbows on his knees as he sat in the waiting room. All he could do was stare at the sterile floor and think about how often he had found himself here in his life.

It should have been me. Why is it never me?

Stiles gritted his teeth and shoved his fist to his mouth in a maddening effort not to scream. Lydia. His Lydia. Right after he, after they... But before he could do everything in his power to make her happy, before he could tell her how he felt.

"Stiles."

His head jerked up so quickly that his neck gave a shirt burst of pain. Natalie Martin swam in front of his eyes and he quickly wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. She sat down beside him.

"Where's Mr. Martin?" His voice sounded stiff and clenched, as if the sentence was nearly impossible to get out.

"At home. This... This is too much for him to process." Something about her tone made his heart twist with bitterness. Bitterness at the fact that he wasn't there for his daughter, bitterness at how he treated his family.

"Had he been drinking?" He asked after a moment, his voice not as clenched but still plain, emotionless.

Natalie was quiet for a moment. "Mm," she said softly in affirmation. She sighed. "I really thought it might work this time. But Lydia was right. I should have listened to her."

Her voice was twisted with guilt and for a moment, Stiles couldn't help but feel pleased at the sound. But then he reasoned to himself that he shouldn't, that she had had a right to try, that he wouldn't have met Lydia if she hadn't.

And he knew that he wouldn't have felt that angry feeling if he hadn't already been angry at the world for trying to take Lydia away. For possibly succeeding.

No. He couldn't think like that.

"Your daughter has an uncanny ability to be right constantly," he said softly, turning his head to look at the woman who seemed so wrenched apart.

A small smile forced its way onto her face and Stiles felt a small glow in his chest at having put it there. "I know," she whispered. She leaned back. "I can't believe this is happening."

  Stiles shut his eyes and leaned back, slowly letting his breath out as he did so. "She's the safest driver I know," he finally said, forcing his voice to remain even. "How could this happen to her?"

  Natalie's eyes filled with tears. "It was a drunk driver. He ran a read light and hit her as she was crossing the intersection."

  Stiles was quiet for a long moment, a single question racing through his mind. He wanted to know, had to know, had to ask. But... But he had wanted Lydia to tell him when she was ready. He didn't want to intrude, didn't want to cross any lines. But this was different. She wasn't doing well, she might not be able to tell him. He opened his mouth, sucked in a breath, but then...

 "You're getting ready to ask me about Tanner," Natalie murmured. She slowly turned her face to him and Stiles saw a tear trickle down her cheek. "Aren't you?"

Stiles bit his lip for only a moment before giving her a small nod of his head in response. He had to know. He had to know what had fueled Lydia so much, what was her father's problem. He had to have a moment where he was learning about Lydia, where it wasn't as if she were out of his grasp.

  Natalie sniffed and nodded her head, running the back of her hand over her nose. "She told you how he was born?"

  "Yeah," Stiles said softly. "She did. And that he passed... She..." His voice hiccuped and he almost told her to forget it, that he didn't need to know. "She thought it was her fault."

  "I know she did." Natalie sighed softly and closed her eyes. "It wasn't her fault, you know. It really wasn't. But nothing will ever convince Lydia." Her hands were trembling lightly as she brought them to her lap. "It was a car accident. Lydia had gone to-"

  And suddenly it was like a stone dropped in his stomach. Stiles was on his feet in an instant, the room swaying around him as if he were on a small boat. he shook his head, stumbled back. "I- I'm sorry," he said, not sure if his voice was as panicked as he thought it might be or not. "I can't do this. I can't-"

  He stumbled outside and the moment the cool air of the night hit his face, his knees buckled. He fell to the ground as every flicker of painful, overwehlming, crushing panic that he had been keeping down since he heard about Lydia's accident came over him in a huge wave. His hands hit the pavement and he dropped his head, letting it hang as he shut his eyes.

  He couldn't do it. He couldn't betray her trust. It had to come from Lydia and if it didn't... 

  If he let Natalie tell him the truth, everything behind Tanner, then it was as if he were giving up on Lydia. It was as if he really didn't think she would come back to him. And he couldn't give up on her. He wouldn't.

- -

Stiles didn't go back inside until he saw Allison's silver car swing into a spot. He watched from his spot on the ground as his entire group climbed out of the vehicle. After seeing him, it took Scott about three seconds to be on the ground beside him, one hand coming to his back and the other reaching to Stiles's shoulder furthest from him.

  "Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes earnest and honestly, completely caring. Stiles nodded, wondering numbly how he could ever lie to that face. but Scott's eyes flashed with a knowing look that brought the only small amount of comfort Stiles had been able to feel all night.

I know, Scott's eyes were saying. It's okay.

  but it wasn't okay. He couldn't lose Lydia. He couldn't stand the thought. For crying out loud, she had her whole life ahead of her! She was supposed to meet Malia when she came back from traveling with her family. She still had to graduate, had to go to prom. This wasn't okay, it wasn't fair, it wasn't right, it wasn't anything but sick. Stiles's stomach gave a painful lurch, making him think briefly that he really might be sick.

  But then Scott's arms were around him and Stiles clapped his around his friend, his brother, and held on tight. He gave in at long last, allowing the tears to fall into the material of Scott's shirt. He didn't even notice as the rest of the group made their way inside, didn't care. All that mattered was him and his best friend, who in that moment was the only thing keeping him grounded to life, to reality. 

  Scott, as many times before, was the only thing keeping him sane.

- -

It felt like years before Natalie could go see her. And it was even longer before Stiles could. Melissa walked with him down the hallway. they stopped in front of her room and Stiles felt the world swim again.

  Melissa gripped his hand suddenly, her brown eyes fixed on him with such concern that it sent a jolt of pain through his heart. "Stiles," she said softly. "It's o-"

  Stiles didn't think about it for even a moment before he acted. He turned and pulled Melissa into a hug, his face burying itself swiftly into the crook of her neck. He needed her more than he needed air right then. He needed a mom.

 After losing his, and growing so close to his father and then... And then having to face the thought of losing him, and now Lydia... He couldn't take it. He couldn't stand one more moment.

   Melissa held him tightly to her as she stroked his hair, making soft noises of comfort as she did. He had to force himself away from her when he released her. His eyes rested on hers as he pulled away, towards the door.

  "Thanks," he said softly, forcing himself to hold in that one other word that had always applied to Melissa. Mom. Thanks, Mom.

  She gave him a soft, sad smile and reached out, her hand coming to his cheek gently. "You're welcome, son," she whispered softly. Slowly, her arm dropped and she walked away. 

  Stiles sucked in a shaky breath and went inside the room.