A Happy Accident

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Lindsey, 

I didn't want to do this before we went on stage for our last show, I don't think I would have made it through. There's so much I feel that I want to tell you and I have written hundreds of songs, but I'm strangely at a loss of words... At first I wasn't sure whether this tour was a good idea and in ways it wasn't, but it brought us so much closer together, I would dare say, like never before. That first time you kissed me, I wanted to push you away, but at the same time, I wanted to hold onto you and beg you to never let me go. I somewhat regret I let you go on with it, because despite that it was amazing, it was too quick and meaningless, and we've never been that, we always mean something. But the weeks that followed, they were absolutely incredible and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I do feel bad that I've hurt someone I truly care about, because I could never and probably will never be able to stay away from you, but the love you allowed me to feel again... I got so attached to being around you all the time, to having you, I felt as if we were really together and I was dreading the end of it all, despite all of your promises. I'm not forcing you to do anything, you know that, I want it to be your decision. If you can't come back to me, then so be it, I'll be a fool once more, but if you honestly feel and mean everything you told me, everything you did for me, then I'm waiting. I'm waiting for you no matter how long it takes. You're my everything, Lindsey.

Love, 

Steph

The letter fell from Kristen's hand, as she was sobbing the whole time she was reading it. She told herself to stop right at the beginning, but she couldn't, wanting to know what Stevie had to say, now she wished she didn't. She asked Lindsey and he swore time and time again that nothing will happen between him and his ex, that they were past it, that he was married and she was engaged. Well...

Lindsey was making his way upstairs to the bedroom, to unpack, since he left everything the way it was the day before, when he came home, wanting to spend time with his kids more than anything. The door was slightly ajar and he pushed it open fully to be met by the sight of his wife crying her heart out on the floor, by his suitcase.

"Kristen? What is it? What happened?" He knelt down next to her, but she didn't say anything back. His eyes fixed on the letter and he knew immediately why she was crying. He thought he had put it in his guitar case, apparently not. What was written, Lindsey didn't know as he hadn't really had a chance to read it himself yet, but he could only imagine. "I take it you read the letter."

"I did..." 

"I'm sorry, I... I don't know what's in it, I haven't-"

"It's a love letter, Lindsey, what else do you think it is? It's a woman pouring her heart out, telling you how you mean the world to her. More than that, it... it exposes your affair."

"Please, don't cry." He asked, trying to touch her, but she pulled away. Despite everything, he cared for her. "It just..."

"What? You don't even have to say anything, to make up a story. It's all black on white."

"I didn't want you to find out this way, I'm sorry to have hurt you once again." 

"What..." She sniffled. "What does she mean, saying that she wants it to be your decision, that she'll wait for you?"

"Kristen, it-"

"No, answer me!"

"I was going to tell you everything myself and... and that I've realized it's her I want to be with. I do hear myself and I know it's beyond wrong, but it's the truth. I love you as my wife and as the mother of my children, but I will never come close to loving you the way I love Stevie. I'm not getting any younger and I don't want to wake up one day, being some eighty years old and regret I didn't do this, that I didn't choose the woman I'm in love with in the end."

"So, you needed over ten years, wedding vows and three kids to choose her? Why did you even stay with me? I knew I would never be her for you, but why cause all this heartbreak?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing." Lindsey shrugged, sighing. "You told me you got pregnant and I thought being with you was what had to happen."

"You could have been a father to our child without being in a relationship with me. What, you thought I wouldn't have allowed that? I'm not that horrible of a person..."

"I'm sorry, okay? I thought I was taking responsibility for my actions, I thought it's what needed to be done and I did that! I know I failed, I wasn't and could never be a good husband to you, now I realize that I actually made the wrong decision. If I knew how you honestly felt about getting pregnant with Will then, I... I would have stayed with Stevie. I wouldn't have married you, I wouldn't have cheated on you and you wouldn't have had to read that letter." 

He didn't get any answer for a long moment, too long, as he was now feeling even worse than before, but she did speak up, having only one question. "Do you truly love her that much? Are you so in love with her you're willing to walk away from what we've created together? Because if you do, then fine, I will let you go, but please know that there won't be a way back for us. If you realize that after all your happiness lies in this family, I won't let you in again."

Now it was Lindsey's turn to think it over, as he sat hunched over, his head in his hands. "I know it won't be easy, I know things will go wrong, but... yes. Kristen, I'm so sorry, but yes, I love her that much."

"Then please, leave. I won't demand anything from you, I won't keep the kids away from you, but you have to go now."

Taking one last look at her, Lindsey stood up and without staying to get some things together, he left. He got in his car, pulled out of the driveway and sped off to see Stevie. He couldn't control it, a few tears escaping his eyes, as it began to sink in what he just left behind, but he knew who it was for. 

When he arrived at Stevie's, Lindsey got out, locked the car and walked up to the front door and rang the bell, looking down, before the door was answered. He lifted his eyes up and felt as if he was punched in the gut.

"Robert?"