A Happy Accident

Don't hurt me

Stevie slammed the door behind her, when she entered her hotel room, livid with both herself and Lindsey, at the same time just as shocked and confused by what happened. She honestly thought they were past that; he had a wife, she had a fiance. What was it going to take for them to stop once and for all? Or was it never going to end? Would they continue living their lives having affairs, while hurting other people, as well as themselves? Why was it only when they were around each other? It had been quite some time until they last were this close and during the time they were apart, neither Lindsey nor Stevie not once picked up the phone and said something like, I can't be without you, I need you. No, never. Just yesterday, she was kissing goodbye the man she thought she was in love with, whose ring she was wearing, but one day spent with Lindsey ruined everything she had built with Robert just like that. And they hadn't even really started their tour yet!

Still angry, Stevie fell on the bed with a heavy sigh. She had to tell Robert, she had to... Could she though? She knew it would break his heart and she doubted he could forgive her, since he repeatedly told her he trusted her. And she broke that trust. Willingly, she ruined probably the best thing that had ever happened to her.

She felt dirty. As if she could wash away her guilt, she almost literally ran to the bathroom and shed her clothes, getting into the shower as she stood under the water, cascading over her. Naturally, the tears came along too, crying, she reached for the shower gel, as she lathered herself up, doing her best to wash Lindsey's scent off her body.

Returning to the bedroom, Stevie thought it was reasonable time to finally talk to Robert. She dialed his number and waited for him to answer, getting more nervous with every ring. At last...

"Yeah?" His voice groggy. 

"Hey, sorry I woke you up."

"No, no it's fine. How... is everything okay?" She couldn't speak, feeling herself getting emotional again. "Stevie, are you there?"

"Yes, yes I'm here. I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Robert, I'm so sorry."

"For what, baby? Come on, talk to me."

"That I..." No. She couldn't, not when he was as sweet as ever to her, calling her pet names... "I completely forgot I promised to call yesterday."

"Oh, that!" He laughed lightly. "It's alright. You had me worried a bit, but you called now, so it's all good, darling. How was your flight?"

"It was good, yeah. Unusual to be doing it by myself, but it was fine. I'm here, so..." 

"Well, that's great then. Any plans before the tour kicks off?"

"No!" She instantly cursed herself for that rushed reply.

"Okay... Is everything okay, babe? You sound weird."

"Fine, fine... I'll call you some other time, you just woke up."

"Sure, okay. Do that. I love you."

"I love you, too."

That didn't help.

Stevie felt even worse. Why? Why did he have to be so loving with her always? She wished Robert somehow would just find out by himself and then shout at her and call her names, and tell her what a horrible person she was. Truly, she believed that would make her feel better. One thing that she knew for sure though, was that she didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve any man to love her, because at the snap of Lindsey's fingers, so to say, she would be back in his arms once again.

And what about Lindsey? What about the tour? If she insisted on ignoring him, the whole thing would become awkward and unbearable. But she didn't want to discuss it with him either. Mostly because it scared her. Was it just on the spur of the moment type of thing or despite what he swore, he actually wanted this all along, why he even brought the touring together up in the first place?

The rest of the day Stevie spent the exact same; thinking. For once Lindsey listened and he didn't come see her, but she had to face him after all and she had to do it before Karen arrived, once the plane touched down. Stevie knew her assistant would know something went wrong and being interrogated was the last thing she wanted.

A knock on the door echoed, making Lindsey frown, he wasn't expecting anyone. Still he went to check. He was even more surprised when he found Stevie standing in the hallway. Without a word, he stepped aside and let her enter, which she did, successfully managing to avoid looking at him.

They sat down in the living area, Lindsey anxiously bouncing his leg. "If you're here, clearly you have something to say."

"I spent hours thinking about what happened between us in the morning and I realized that I had to talk to you, because I don't want this tour to be a living hell. We were both looking forward to it, before, like as always, we fucked it up."

"Stevie, we didn't f-"

"I even called Robert, I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't. I couldn't tore his heart into pieces, he doesn't deserve that."

"I'm sorry, okay? How else do you want me to say it?"

"I want to know why."

"Stevie, I-"

"Why did you decide you wanted me again?"

He sighed, a bit dramatically. "Because I did, I do! Do you want me to tell you that I've missed you and I think about you way more than I should, being married and all?"

"Answer me honestly; was this your plan?"

"No, I swear to you, no."

"Do you love me? Are you still in love with me?"

"Maybe. Maybe I am." 

"Yesterday you said that it's an easy question, that you kno-"

"I am in love with you still." He cut her off. "I was doing just fine, keeping those feelings bottled up, but I can't any longer. Especially, when you're getting married, Stevie..." He looked away, not believing he was actually about to say it. "I guess, maybe... I subconsciously tried to stop that from happening."

"You can't do this to me." Her eyes brimmed with tears. "You get another woman pregnant, you marry her, you make me your mistress and when I find a man, I actually want to get married to, you tell me you're still in love with me."

"I didn't mean for this to happen, I didn't. I tried being happy for you, but now that I realize I could lose you for good?"

"Lindsey, I'm not yours, I'm not! You have a wife!"

"I KNOW!" He yelled, startling her. "I'm sorry. This is just... it's so frustrating. I know I have a wife, but I wish I hadn't."

"I can't listen to this, I've only heard it one too many times." Stevie wiped under her eyes, as she stood up and headed for the door. "I came here to tell you, it can't happen again. Please, Lindsey... Please, don't hurt me like that again." Her last words came out as a whisper, as she opened the door quickly and hurried out of his room, not allowing him one more word.