My hand is shaking. I look at my wrist and I can see a little stream of blood. I remove the knife from my wrist. The bloodstream tickles down my arm and a droplet falls on the floor. Should I do this? Is this a solution? No, it isn't a solution. But I can't find another way out. If I go on, and I die, will I end up in heaven? Will I finally find my rest in peace? Will I never see anything of this world any-more? Is that a good thing?I hate this world. Of course there are a some things in life too. Maybe this is only a spur of the moment. Who would miss me if I'm gone? My parents. Relatives? My grandmothers en my uncle are the only one of them which I'm close with. The only grandpa I've known is dead. Would I join him, in heaven? I don't even know if I believe in a God. Maybe there isn't anything after death. One big black hole? An endless sleep? I'm trying to get everything straight. Why do I want to end my life?
Hi,
Let me introduce myself. I am a 14 years old girl and I'm in the third year of atheneum. I want to share my story with you. Not for pity or sweet comforting words, but to let you guys see how I feel. What others do, which makes me feel like this. I want to give you a message. Know what you're doing, before you do something. Think about how would you think of it, if you were the other person. Maybe you think I'm one of those crybabies. Or maybe this happened to you too. But we're no crybabies. What we feel is true. We are humans too, humans with feelings. With this book I want to prove the world a little bit. Prevent that others feel how I do is something I can't do. Not alone.
This is my story.
