Retrace

Chapter Thirteen

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I'm not insane; I'm as sane as I'll ever be. Meanwhile, Cyril has gone from that very discreet image to a man with full-blown paranoia.

The idea of him going to his father is something he wouldn't do. The idea of me going to see his father is what Cyril would never want me to do. He constantly gave out a soft shrieking sound when he couldn't argue anymore. If not, it would be a stuttering sound. With all options considered, going to Edward Martin is the best idea while I'm here at Prim. I could also arrange a search party for Cassius while I'm at it. But that search party is something I think isn't necessary. If Cassius is okay from that, he would either be fleeing in the east or the west. If I remember correctly, Cassius was not on the train car when the robbers came. He might be safe somewhere.

That evening, I arranged the schedule for tomorrow. Cyril's defeated self remained lying at the chair near the table. He's been like that after we had dinner. I understand that he doesn't want to see his father but, it's like he doesn't want to because he's hiding something. Earlier, he displayed anger but now he isn't even one bit angry. There must be something that he said to his family before he left.

I smoothed out the paper where I wrote the schedule. I held it near the oil lamp. It's very unfortunate here in the orphanage because they're still using oil lamps instead of light bulbs. I narrowed my eyes to see well. It's more like an order than a schedule.

I crumpled up the paper and threw it to the oil lamp's flame. It quickly caught fire. I can't possibly let him have that. It'll just dampen his spirits more. I guess we'll just have to give this one a rest. Cyril can't possibly be on his best behavior tomorrow if he deflated today.

I pulled out another paper and scribbled down quickly. "Cyril, that was a rather selfish idea of mine," I dictated softly. "Sorry for that. I'll agree to your plan. We'll board the first train bound to the north in the morning. There's nothing to be accomplished by paying a visit to Edward Martin anyway."

The moment I woke up the next morning, Cyril isn't anywhere in the room. When I asked around, they said that Cyril left early in the morning in a hurry.

I sat down the table. Then I noticed the paper I used yesterday had a reply under it. "I apologize," I read. "I cannot comply with your wishes."

Bastard.

So I was stuck to figuring out why Cyril suddenly replied that way. I could say I'm relieved because I wanted to see Edward Martin but like I said, it's an unfruitful visit. It was a really selfish request from me. There was just something I wanted to ask him.

I found my way to the dining table. There I saw many children younger than me. They were all sitting around the table as if waiting for someone to arrive. There's only one seat unoccupied and I have a pretty good idea who they're waiting for.

I sat down the empty seat. All faces shied away from me. I can guess they've been waiting for quite some time.

"It's nice of your to join us, little one," Miss Vivianne said, who was sitting across me. Apparently, the seat left out for me is at the rightmost edge. "With you present, we can now start breakfast."

I always wondered what it's like to be eating with many people. The only time when I eat with many people is when parties are organized and invitations are extended to us. But that doesn't compare to this silent but solemn time. I enjoyed this time because unlike the party setting, I can't appreciate anything. My attention is always to other people and focusing on not losing my bearings. In that sea of people, it's hard to see where I am if I didn't remember any landmarks. Another factor of that is because I was still short during those times.