299 Days As a Guy

Chapter 7 - The Return of Womanhood

Later that day, I decided to go and watch the football team practice. If I'm to confess frankly - I went there to watch the Cheerleading squad.
They were doing the routine from last year's football game against Sherbore high; I remember being front and centre the whole way through and the girls threw me into the air and caught me- most of the time.

And the squad really felt like being a member of something bigger, something even bigger than the value on my gold membership card at Sephora.
Both were things I was beginning to miss.

As autumn was drawing closer the evenings darkened quicker. Grey afternoons and brown leaves brought on the feeling of nostalgia; all around basic white girls were ordering semi-skimmed low-fat caramel-flavored pumpkin-spice lattes while I was stuck with simple Arabian coffee in a bite sized paper cup.

"Oh, come on Ash!" Tyler had found a new way to infuriate me and it never failed to crack him up. "Guys remind him again what is so good about fall-"

"Guys in flannel shirts!" The Kyle and Blain cheered simultaneously jumping up from my bed.

"No! I am telling you this because I love you Tyler, and I am telling you this for the last time;" I protested, "flannel does not go well with golf shoes and Ralph Lauren, hence you will not make me wear it!"

To this they would all begin to laugh and ridicule my refined taste. I'm sorry guys, but I am not going to dress like a hill billy just because it's Fall. You can take that flannel shirt and shove it right up your hairy-
You guys know the rest.

Speaking of Kyle he has taken his relationship with Allen Cullen to the next level; the two of them do it regularly now. Every single day.

Meanwhile, Blain has been screwing Tiff, forgetting completely about my plan to get myself back in charge of my cheerleading squad -or at least reserve the spot for me for when I am female again and fit to claim it.

In Ashley's, that is my, absence Cameron seems to be living the single man's life and doing it sexily. I obviously am not in the position to check, but I've heard many roamers about him and the girls he sleeps with - different ones every night. At least ever since Blain is doing it with Tiff Hudson, she not longer does it with Cameron.

Which of course isn't as satisfying as I thought it would be, because Cameron quickly found himself other favorite subjects to brag about at the high table.

The topic of Ashley Camper and clique's sudden disappearance is still hot and sizzling - I heard she flew to Japan to do car commercials, and married a billionaire and is currently situated on a privet island in the middle of the pacific.
Glamorously bizarre if you ask me - but more glamorous and less bizarre than what actually happened to her.

Speaking of bizarre, the other day some girl called me introducing herself as 'Olga from Taylor's dorm'. Strange introduction, right? I don't seem to remember anyone by that name.

Candice and I are the best of friends or maybe even a little more. Can you believe that it is so hard, for a man as hot as me, to get a girl to be his official gal?
Tyler grinned when I asked him the question above, during our after gymclass shower, "Maybe it's because you don't wear flannel." At this I picked up one of his flannel shirts and chucked it out the window.
To the vivid joy of his drama club fangirls, he went home topless.

Overall, apart from the endless flannel jokes, everything was going smoothly. At least until came that night.

That night. The one night in a year where girls wear lingerie and animal ears. That's right; Halloween.