Short Funny Stories and Jokes

Short Funny Stories

The Drunk Mother

Melody Parker fet tired... Exhausted more like. Her head was spinning... she felt the need to vomit...

Yes Mrs. Melody Parker had to much wine.

"Damn you… (hic) stupid pickle…" She moaned, reaching a fist across her table to slug the nonexistent food. The pickle vanished once her fist uh… made contact with it. "That's what you get for putting (hic) my daughter wearing nothing, but a bikini in the new (hic)."

Her cheeks were a tinge of red and her eyes were hazy and unfocused. She frowned when something that looked like an old goat walked in. Glaring at the goat groggily, she picked up her glass.

"Die you stupid… uh… goat!" Melody shrieked, throwing it with amazing strength and accuracy. She chuckled and hiccuped when it hit her target, but then blinked when she heard a cry from the goat and watched it fall to the floor.

"Huh? The… goat's real?" She blinked and hiccuped again. Standing up, she walked over to the goat on her floor and after focusing a bit, she gasped.

"Honey!" Why are you (hic) dressed up as a goat!" she asked as she fell on her butt.

Mr. Parker stood up rubbing his throbbing head. "You've been drinking again, eh Honey?" he asked "You're taking the news about Hailey pretty hard..."

"Of COURSE I'm taking the news hard!" She snapped. "Why the hell should Hailey  get into the news in a swimsuit issue before ME!"

He laughed nervously "You never go to the beach anymore sweetheart," he told her.

Melody blushed furiously...well… her cheeks reddened even darker then before.

"Any way where is Hailey," he asked.

"She went to her aunts house in Los Angeles, California," she replied.

They both stared at each other for a second.

"Wine?"

"Sure."