Short Funny Stories and Jokes

Way's To Scare People Through Texts.

0)I'm gonna hunt you down and slice ur throat and drink your blood whle I rip your legs off and cook them over an open fire slowly while watching you squirm.

  1)      You don’t know me, but your hair smells amazing. (Especially when woven into a shirt.)  

2)      Do you know anyone who pays cash for human teeth (don’t worry, not my own)?  

3)      What’s your favorite game? Mine’s called Following You Without You Knowing.  

4)      You look so cute when you’re sleeping. P.S. Try cleaning your closet sometime.  

5)      I wish I could sew myself to you.  

6)      I will give you one thousand dollars to smell your shoes. Please. It’s an emergency.  

7)      I would make out with your shadow on a gravel driveway.  

8)      How much money do you want for your old toothbrush?  

9)      We would make an amazing couple. I’m the guy sitting behind you at Starbucks right now. I got your number by looking over your shoulder while you were texting your boyfriend.  

10)   My pet bird died. I still have him though. He’s my only friend.  

11)   I want to put your Q-tips up my nose and go to sleep.  

12) I Love You