he was perfect ;; jeongcheol (svt)

eight

I worked late the next day since I had late appointments coming in. I couldn't wait to go home and hear about Jeonghan's day, so when the shop was locked up, I basically raced to our apartment.

I walked in and the house was quiet. Jeonghan wasn't in the living room so I guessed he was sleeping. I entered our bedroom but it was empty too. The entire house showed no sign of Jeonghan.

I clarified to myself that he went out to buy something, that was normal and rational.

I walked back into the lounge and saw a piece of paper taped to the fridge. I really was worried for nothing as Jeonghan even left a note for me. I guess I always had that habit of jumping to conclusions. I had nothing to worry about.

But, then I read the letter;

Dearest Seungcheol

I don't want you to be mad, upset or depressed after you read this, okay?

Remember how I told you I'm not perfect? Well, I honestly meant that. I'm not perfect and I don't deserve someone like you.

I built up walls, and you broke them down just by one stupid smile. I thank you for that. And thank you for showing me love my parents couldn't give me. You made me realize that imperfect people can receive love too.

I really don't what I'm going on about, I'm sorry.

I hate that you have to look after me. I hate that my entire life, I wasn't anything useful. That's why I'm leaving, so I don't have to be a burden to you.

I honestly don't know where I'm off to but hopefully we meet in the future.

I love you, Seungcheol
Thank you for everything.

xoxo Jeonghan.

I had tears in my eyes by the time I finished read the letter.

I reached out for my phone and dialled Jeonghan's number several times, receiving his voice mail each time. Finally I sunk down to the kitchen floor, my back against the cold metal fridge, and cried harder than ever before.

I cried harder than the time I fell off my bicycle and harder than the time Jeonghan pushed me down the bank at school.

I didn't know what I was going to do without Jeonghan around. I didn't know if I was ever going to be okay with not knowing if he was okay.

And that's why I'm sitting here in this library with my aggressively religious best friend Jisoo, writing down the sad but beautiful case of Yoon Jeonghan.