The week went by quick, before i even realized it It was Wednesday, my mind could not rest knowing I was just a few days away of seeing him, I haven't felt that rush in a while. My 10 Am Class ended and I Headed to the patio of the campus to meet with my friends. The change of energy and mood that goes on after a class is incredible. My friends were talking about this party that was going to happen that Friday. "Hey, do you have any plans for friday night?" One of my friends asked me. "Yeah, i have a date, why?" I replied kind of shyly as I lighted up a cigarette.
"Party, 9 pm., Mosty's Place, Be there." One of my friends said to me.
Well, seems like I have two plans for Friday. They didn't overlap but my OCD kicked in and I immediately started preparing a mental schedule for Friday night.
6 pm, leave the house
7 -8:30 pm, Date
8:30 pm, leave
9 pm, Party.
A friend of mine, thankfully, woke me up from my trance before I could start overthinking what could go wrong and asked me about my date. I immediately blushed, I haven't been this excited for a date with someone since November. She knew it, she was there when my world was torn down the middle on that December night. I've had my fair share of men but none has gone under my skin like he was by this point, i thought "this Friday is the moment of truth", but i kind of felt guilty, I pictured how mean and bitchy it would sound if i said "I had a nice time, but I have a party to go to." So, i decided to tell him but i need time to think how to tell him without sounding like I don't want to see him. The day went by and I honestly forgot about it until the night time, i've always been a Night owl, that's when my loneliness haunts me and takes over my thoughts. I was sitting in my living room drinking Iced Blueberry tea to calm my nerves. A close friend of mine messaged me that night, she needed a ride and asked if I would mind driving her to the party. She's a dear friend of mine and obviously I said yes. I could pay a little bit more for making a pit stop and picking my friend up in a cab. I had that one come easy, now comes the hard part. How can I sound less like a bratty kid and more like somebody who can balance out their schedule?
"Hey, look. I'm really excited for Friday and everything but my friends just told me about this party that sound pretty cool, so, i was thinking maybe we can push it forward, say 6 pm?" Send. My heart raised by the second since the moment I sent the text. I didn't have the most remote idea of what he'd say about it. I would actually be offended if somebody chose a party over me, but, hopefully, i prayed he would understand. He saw the message but didn't reply until a few minutes after. — Crap! I screwed up again. — I thought to myself. He replied "oh, okay. I understand. But i'd rather have you spend some time with your friends and have the date some other day, maybe Saturday night?" Thank God he understood. But I couldn't do it. "I can't, I have my social service on Saturday, it takes my whole day and I always end up tired." I replied. "Well, what about next Friday then?" He replied to that text. I felt the sudden change in his mood through a text, No emojis and the Perfect grammar were the ways he implied he was pissed off, or so I thought since that's how i type when I'm angry. "You know what? I'll find a way to make it to both events, let's stick to the original plan, Friday night at 7 pm, ok?" I tried to band aid the wound I created. — I hope You didn't screw up that bad. — my conscience said to me. "Look, i'm sure you will find a way of doing it, but i'd rather have you spend time with your friends." He replied after a few seconds. Aw! how sweet, but no. I made my mind up and will not settle for anything but my plan. After a small back-and-forth he agreed. I love having things done my way. I couldn't wait for Friday. I had already chose an outfit to wear. I felt really confident on my pull&bear plaid baby blue shirt, my black jeans and my adidas shoes. In my head i was dressed to kill. Thursday went by quickly and that Friday the butterflies on my stomach were on steroids. I have never been this nervous for a date in my life. My knees were shaking a mile per second, but I wasn't going to let him know. I had only one class, Salsa at 2. The whole class i had my thoughts on him, as soon as the class ended at 3 pm I headed back to my house to get ready. Oh my god. My friend called me and said that she found another ride so that I could enjoy my date more without the pressure of leaving early for the party. God, I have the best friends ever. I got home by 4:32 pm and headed straight to my bathroom to get a shower and start getting ready.
//oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god//
I usually take my time and let my mind go wild in the shower, but this time I didn't. I was focused and wouldn't distract from the price, Him. I showered in ten minutes and got dressed in 15. My hair wouldn't cooperate. Thank god I still have over an hour to fix this mess. My mom got home at 5:30 and i asked her if she could drive me to the coffee shop, she replied with a yes. She was going to an event "near by" so she wouldn't mind dropping me off a few blocks away from the coffee shop. I'm a special person when it comes to times, i had planned leaving at 6 pm in case there was traffic, Monterrey is a car city. My mother in the other hand was more relaxed, she likes to be fashionably late. We left our house at 6:10 pm and i was upset about it. On the inside obviously, if I complained about the time, she wouldn't hesitate on not letting me go out for 2 weeks. The ride there was nice and a little bit quiet. We talked about my school, grades, normal stuff. We were passion one of the placed where she used to take me when i was younger and aaid "you've grown, and i'm sure your not meeting with your friends by the way you're dressed. So, i hope who ever this boy is does you well." I didn't say anything about it, but i felt comfortable with the comment. We were getting closer and as my mom dropped me off she hugged me and said "hope he's not an ass. Good luck, sweetie." I thought that It's too good to be true. I said "thank you" to her got out of the car. She smiled at me as I closed the door and started walking away of the car. She knows i am gay, and was fine with it, but my love life has always been hard for me to talk about, maybe someday it will be easier and it will be a smooth talk about it, and by the looks of it that day may be coming soon. As I glanced over to the street i had my nerves hit me square between the eyes like a perfectly aimed bullet. It's the moment of truth, i'm five blocks away from the coffee shop and my heart is pounding... It's 6:55 pm and i have 5 minutes to kill. I checked my pockets to see if i have my lip balm. Crap! I don't have it and my lips are a little chapped, I need one... Just in case a miracle happens and he wants to kiss me. There's an H-E-B market right beside the plaza where the coffee shop is located and i'm more than thankful because of the fact that i have money to spare in case of emergencies. Yes, for me this was an emergency. You never know if you're his type or not, but it's better to be safe than sorry. I texted him and asked if he was there already. "5 minutes and i'll be there. 10 minutes at tops." He replied. Thank God. I walked towards the H-E-B at a normal speed, I didn't worry about time for two reasons. First, it was literally beside the plaza, second, here if people say "10 minutes at tops" you basically have about 20 minutes. God, i hate unpunctuality. I went to the pharmacy section and looked for the lip balm area. When i found it I glanced over the many options they had. The top 3 flavors were Cherry, Mint and non-flavored. I guess i wanted to be really basic and went for the cherry one. As soon as I bought it I went to the bathroom and put it on. I had my earphones listening to Vanessa Hudgens' Say Ok. I felt like i was in a movie scene. I practiced my smile a little and fixed my hair a little. Totally forgetting that i was on a public bathroom and not my own private bathroom. I wanted to be perfect but i felt really far away of that word. A text interrupted my zen and brought me back to the fact that i was in a Supermarket bathroom. "Hey, i'm here. Where are you?" — Dammit! "I'll be there in a Heartbeat." I replied as i exited the bathroom. I felt confident, my hair was nice, my lips soft and a little glossy, and my clothes were fancy yet calm. Whatever happens, Happens. I headed to the coffee shop and my heart raised with every step, now comes the real deal. My head quickly burned my confidence to the ground and my insecurities rose to the surface like a shark when it spots the perfect prey. — What if he doesn't like me? What if i'm not his type? What if it was a set up? — my head wondered to every single scenario where i was the problem and totally left out the fact that he could ever be the one to hurt me. Before i realized it i was at the door of the coffee shop. La Crépe de Paris was written on a Perfect cursive font on a nice white-ish silver color on a glass door that extended from the floor to the ceiling. Maybe 3 meters tall at tops. My heart was beating at same speed of the jet. My mind decided it was a perfect moment to shut up and left my thoughts out of the picture for the first time in my life. I took a deep breath and said to myself "Here Goes Nothing." As a man on a white plain Shirt opened the door for me and greeted me in.
Here I go.
L.L.
