2015 one week before the whole fandom was ruined because of those pics of luke and arzaylea swept the nation and i had to swerve lanes to calum because luek is a bad boy. you may proceed.
lucas robert hemmings
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(THIS SKSKSKKSKWK) my life is boring and everyone is having a dandy time in their lives. the band and i are on tour and making some new music. ash is having a confusing relationship with this model named bryana, cal has a girlfriend now named daryan and she is a close friend of mine...i can talk to her about anything and mikey is still dating hannah. btw i have a humongous crush on hannah like i like her a lot but mikey is my best friend and i would never do that to him but i want hannah to be mine only. ok that sounded creepy.
i was on twitter, creepin' on the 5sos fam and i got a call from the people on our record label.
"hi!"
i said trying to sound like i was doing something.
"hey luke, me and my group made a big deal today!"
"what is it?"
"that you have a girlfriend!"
i kind of stayed silent for a bit. a fucking girlfriend. i can barely speak to hannah or daryan without shitting my pants and you think i can have a girlfriend!
"why?"
"you know your the most favored out of all the guys in the band, so if people saw you had a girlfriend then more publicity for the band and that means more people will find out who you are and more people will buy your music."
"1; our music sucks. 2; why the hell would a girlfriend help with our music?"
"well paparazzi will get lots of photos and videos of you with the girl and you'll be all over the media! you'll spread faster than calum's nudes!"
"ok i'll do this if you never bring up calum's nudes in any of our convos ever again."
"deal!"
"ok how will i find a girlfriend?"
"we already have her!"
"who is she?"
"her name is arzaylea. you'll go on a date with her next week in la! gotta go! i'll give you more info tomorrow and don't be sad! bye!"
"bye..."
i don't even know who this girl is but i can't even describe to you how much i wish it was hannah instead of this arzaylea chick.
