How did it get so bad...?

chapter 4

I hope u guys like it!!! This was a hard chapter to write. I had to go back to one of the worst memories I have. But i hope I got the point of the chapter across!!! Thank u!!! Tell me wat u think!!!

and srry if the chapters r getting progressivley shorter......

Chapter 4

"Okay guys, we are going to do the listening section in the workbook now." The whole class grumbles and groans as we take out our workbooks. "Page quarante-cinq."French. The language of love, beauty, and confusingness.

"What's the page Em?" I turn around in my seat.

"Gosh Scar, we learned this last year! You should know your numbers by now!"

"Just tell me."

"It's 45, smart one." She says with a grin.

"Well thank you." Page 45 conists of 8 multiple choice questions and 6 fill in the blanks. We listen to the monotone voice ask us questions and repeat passages. I pass a note back to Em...

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Well this is oh so fascinating...NOT

o ikr?

This sucks balls

u wud say tht :)

i have to tell u sumthing

wat?

its rlle important

ok...wat??

u cnt tell anyone....not tht i need to tell u tht :)

yepp.....now wat is it?!?!

well.....i was talking to kevin yesterday and then we were talkin abt how I get my anger out and he got me to tell him sumthing iv never told anyone, and i need to tell u

OMG wat!??!?

well....he was like "u dnt cut do u?" and i was like "well......"

u cut??!?!?!?

well....yeah...

Seriously??? :0

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...I turn around to face my best friend. The best friend I've ever had in my life. The one who's seen me through some of the bigget issues in my life. The person who I feel closest to. I can't bring myself to look at her face. I just stare at her desk like an idiot. After a few seconds, I lift my face to the sight of a blank, empty face. I couldn't make out any expression in her dark eyes. She doesn't say a word. But then her expression softens. And her eyes fill with worry.

I turn back around in my seat. Unable to face her reaction. Her blank face didnt leave my thoughts, though I feel releived that she now knew. She now knew of a part of me that almost no one had ever known. Emerald now knew who I really was. A cutter. I was a cutter.....no, I AM a cutter. The truth finally soaks in. This is really who I am. I can no longer feel like a strong person. I can no longer agree with those who say I cope well. Because, at the end of the day, after all that happens, I am whoever is left over. And whatever is left over, comes with scarred wrists and an empty soul.