Chapter Fifteen

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I don’t reply to Cem’s question because I honestly have no idea how I knew the song. Would she believe me if I told her it was a recurring section of my dreams? She repeated the question as all I did was stare blankly up at her.

“You were just singing in your sleep. How did you know that song?” her gaze grew fierce and I began to wonder in something as simple as lyrics could be some forbidden dangerous thing.

“I don’t know!” I say finally “Twice now I have started singing it in my dream and I guess I just sleep talk sometimes” I try to show her I am telling the truth and after a few frantic seconds she sighs and sits back on her bed.

“It’s just that song, everyone here will know it but you don’t dare to sing it. It’s an old, old song that brings us hope in a time of great need. I know this sounds stupid but please, try not to dream about it.” she rubs her eyes before looking at the clock beside her bed. It said 5.32. “I won’t be able to get back to sleep now, why don’t we both just go have showers and I’ll meet you back here after.” She gets up from her bed, grabs towels and a change of clothes before disappearing out of the door. I stand and follow her out but turn away to head to my room first, everything I need is in my wardrobe so I quickly fish out a new t-shirt but grab the same jeans as yesterday. This time its red and white spotted but somehow isn’t childish like you would expect.

At this early time everything is quiet in the corridor, when I enter the shower block I can hear Cem’s shower on due to it being the only sound in the completely silent area. My shower this morning is much more pleasing as I didn’t have to scrub my hair clean and I was able to just stand there thinking. When I finally turned off the water there were no other sounds so Cem had clearly gone back to her room. I pulled on the clothes and rolled they up so they would fit like yesterday, as I still had no hair dryer I chose to just towel dry it and do a fishtail plait. This all took time so when I came back to Cem’s room I wasn’t surprised it was well into the 6’oclock hour. Today Cem was once again in a brightly coloured top and duller jeans, as I walked in she was applying the heavy eye makeup I was so used to her wearing. I sit on the edge of her bed and fumble with my night clothes and slightly damp towels.

“I’m sorry about how I reacted earlier it’s just that the song gets to me in ways that are so powerful.” I smile in understanding but don’t say a word “You can hang up your things on the spare hook beside mine” Cem says indicating to it with one hand. I walk over and push them up before also standing beside her and looking at our reflections. We both look strangely awake for this time in the morning but that could be down to the showers we each had.

“When did you dye your hair?” I ask once Cem moves her hand from applying her makeup

“I’ve been dying it for about two or three years but I always change the colour. Sometimes it looks bad other times its good. I like the blue but it does limit the amount of that colour I can wear without looking like I mean to match it.” she plays with one blue section of her hair “I need to re-dye it soon, I can do yours too if you like?!” Her question startles me; I’ve never considered changing my hair colour.

“Maybe, we’ll see.” I reply with a grin

“You can use some makeup if you want, here I recon you are an eye pencil person” Cem passes me an unopened eyeliner and moves further away from her mirror. I unclip the top and begin shading in, for me makeup was always a going out type of thing but maybe a simple smoky eye would bring out a better side of me that fitted in with this weird community.

Once we were both ready the clock showed it was a little before seven. Together we walked giggling out of Cem’s bedroom with the song fading from our memories. On our way to the kitchen we saw no one; the house was just filled with the sounds of sleeping and although I have never been a morning person I really enjoyed the idea of being one of the two people awake. Cem made us some pieces of toast and grabbed small pots of jam while I poured us both a glass of the bright orange drink I had been recently introduced to. I half wondered if it would taste the same without Toff beside me but nothing changed. It was still pretty amazing. We carried the food back upstairs and still didn’t run into anyone on our way, inside Cem’s room we let the natural light in as we tucked into an unhealthy breakfast and ate in comfortable silence.

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