the benefits of ronnie radke being my best friend ( jacky vincent love story )

chapter four: old friends & new

it's been four days. four days since i last spoke to jacky. our last conversation was the incident where we were kissing and said i seem like a good / friend /. rough. i felt stupid and embarrassed. i misread the entire thing even if it didn't make sense. why say good friend and literally just make out with me on the couch ??? ryan could tell i was off and tried multiple times to cheer me up. i never told him what was wrong because i felt like a fool. every chance i got i avoided jacky. i didn't even want to look at him. i knew my emotions would come flooding back and I've been working so hard on cutting them off. it was hard and I'm still not over my crush but i needed to. I'm just a good friend. ronnie even noticed i seemed a little less happy as well. i of course had to reassure him i was okay and he didn't need to kill anyone.

i have to admit being a merch girl again was a lot of fun. i loved being here and i was having a great time. other then being rejected of course, and don't get me wrong i love the boys so much. i love hanging out with them and i have met a few girlfriends on warped but i mostly would do merch and head back to my bunk trying to avoid jacky at all cost. i kinda wanted a girlfriend on our bus. another chick to have around and not just the goof boys. like i said i love them with all of me and they are my family. just sometimes you need a girlfriend. me and ryan were really close but i know him and jacky are also really close as well and i was scared to talk to him about it. i didn't want jacky to find out that i like him when i know he doesn't have feelings for me. even if the pieces don't fit.

i met tons of fans on warped and it was great. there was quiet a few people who actually wanted to take pictures with me which was a little surprising. since i am seen as ronnies little sister he of course would take pictures of me and post them, and tag me in them. i don't mind. i just don't think I'm that cool to follow i guess. I'm a photographer and so on warped i tend to go around and take my own pictures of the bands and such. some behind the scenes type stuff. i figured people would enjoy it and i had the best time taking the photos. a lot of people told me that they love my social medias because of all the amazing photos i post of my warped experience and such. also, apparently i have a good sense of style ?? it was nice to meet people who admire you and just make their day with a simple picture. even if i was just some random chick that is best of friends with ronnie radke , on of the hottest guys in the music scene. people have said that before. it made me grossed out for a bit and just fake hurl. of course to pick on ronnie but also cause i never saw him that way. he was just my guardian angel. craaaaazy guardian angel.

i was at the merch tent as the boys all came over after their performance. they were going to do a quick signing at our other tent beside the merch for of course the signing and photos. i smiled at them watching them come over " well, well, well. fancy meeting you boys here. what brings you in town ? " ronnie laughed and ruffled my hair, " oh little bean, you are funny. were going to be her for like two and a half hours for signing and photos or sooner if it dies down." ryan came over and sat on my lap. fucker was heavy. i laughed hitting his back playfully " ryan ! get off ! youre soooo heavy." i noticed jacky in the corner looking at me. when i would look at him he would turn his face quickly thinking i wouldn't notice. i guess it was a good thing but made me super sad. my mood dropped and i just laid my head against ryans gross sweaty back. he then notice my mood dropped as well and got off my lap then crouched next to me. " whats going on squirt ?"  i looked down shaking my head. if i said anything i would have broken out in tears. i glanced at jacky before hiding my face in my shirt. ryan caught the glance and just said everything was going to be alright. he hugged me and stood with the boys as i tried to carefully calm myself down. 

after ten minutes i felt fine again and just tried my hardest to not look at him. i missed looking at him. i love looking at him. we were an hour into the signing and just kid after kid kept going and going. i knew the boys were tired so i made them take a ten minute break to sit and drink so water. everyone in line got water as well. it was blazing out today. like- super bad. felt like i was in hell type hot. after the ten minutes they were ready to go again. i got so hot that i had to take my shirt off and just sit in a bra and shorts. at that point i didn't care who the hell was looking i wasn't risking it. the only people who stared was the fans. i mean they have no idea who i am or why i randomly stripped. they didn't come to see me, they came to see falling in reverse and meet them all. everyone who was working warped already knew the deal. everyone did it really. we are out there all day in the blistering heat and at some points you just stop caring.