anagapesis // cth

0.1 falling out of love

I guess what I've learned from this whole thing is that it's just as easy, if not easier, to fall out of love.

You probably wouldn't expect it. Things seems so perfect for the both of you and then it just happens, you know? It comes out of nowhere, but you don't say anything, for months maybe, because you think somehow you can reverse it.

But you can't.

It is utterly impossible.

You'll feel terrible, almost pitying the other person, because they think it's fine between the two of you. And you wish it was, but it isn't.

And you know, for those months, that the person you used to love will be hurting when they find out.

It makes you want to hide away for a while.

It makes you wonder if it would be better for them to go through the same thing you are, so you could just not love one another anymore, and get on with the rest of your lives.

And I do still think it would've been better that way.

Because he still loved me, and it still eats me front he inside out, the guilt does.

I had put him through hell, and he kept letting me know that.

So this, is how it all happened.

And if you're reading this Calum, wherever you are now, I want you to know that I'm sorry.

For everything.