I Needed to, I Had to

Let's Talk

*Tiana's point of view*

        I could feel it. Kai was a kind of anxious. I know he focus on road but he is grabbing the wheel so hard. It's like something is really bothering me. I Know how to help him to feel better but.....Am I ready for this? Like It's not my first time and this morning we almost did it but...it's not the same as before. I would be confident if it was but pregnancy makes some damage to women's body and....I don't know if ...this...left some scars. Since it happened I didn't really look at my naked body. I'm too afraid to even try.

         I paid one last look at Kai. He really looked insecure about something. I will talk with him and let things go with flow. If we happen to do it....then I will think about it.

        I wait until we head back to our room to talk with him. Once he opened the door I took his hand and pull him to the coach where we both sat. He looked surprised but looked at me with a smirk.

"Are you already trying to get in my pants?

- No! Kai, we need to talk...seriously!" His smirk fade away.

"About?

-About us." He frowned.

"What is it about? Are you already regretting to be back with me?

-No, I don't regret it. This is exactly why I wanted to talk. I feel like there is something bothering you. I don't want us to have secret like before." He looked at me but didn't say anything.

"JongIn, please. I don't want things to be like before. It didn't end well. Please talk to me." He remained silent. I was upset. Is it that hard to talk to me? In fact things will never change.

"Fine, if it is how you take it! I will go get change and do some sport." I stood up and did as I said. I get change in some light denim shorts and just a blue sport bra. I'm way too angry and it's way too hot to wear a top. I was about to leave but I turned one last time toward Kai.

"Kai...are you sure, you still don't want to talk to me?" He didn't even look at me. I didn't want to argue so I prefer to get all my anger out by running. I took my phone and earphone on the table and left.

        I ran and ran again around the hotel trying to release my stress. But I can't stop asking myself if we ...maybe we better don't try again....maybe I should find a great hotel, stay there with Jason and keep a professional relationship with Kai. I don't want it to be as when we were 19. I can't live a foolish love. I have a son to take care of and my job to do....I can't be crying over Kai's lies and trying to understand his reasons every times he hurts me.

        I was running and overthinking without really looking where I was going. I bumped in someone and fell on the floor. When I lifted my head to see who it was, I saw the last person I wanted to meet right now.

"Are you ok?

- Yes, I am. I'm sorry, I wasn't looking at where I was going, Minseok-ssi