'the fault in our stars' alternate ending

Okay

"Why am i doing this" I say in my head,I stand still and take a breath its all just a blur-every single thought I have had is swirled into this action i cloudn't cope I would be such a bad mother -gus could leave me forever it hurt but that was okay I just was so confused with everything else . I could never have" lived"with myself if I do this, given the of chance of my survival life would still be lost.

His voice melts into the backround but I can't make out what he is saying-its not hard to guess but he doesnt know how I feel,I was independant ,content with my life I didn't need anyone but its him and the baby now, well at least it -......was him,but somehow I am drawn to it like a magnet.

The reality kicks in, I panic , unable to breathe I stager backwards ,shocked by my darkest of thoughts.But, to my surprise, he is there for me .Cradling me -I take in his scent like a drug.He eases the pain with his touch ,with his sound and with his love that never stopped but only hid.

Once calm down, he starts to speak "hazel i....i...i'm so sorry- I got it wrong I shouldnt have left you to cope with this baby on your own and I was so...so..... spiteful' he curls his lips at the mention of the last word.

I bring my lips to his with yearn and haste - I understand gus and I love you ,I say in my head as my primal instincts take over.Pulling my body closer to his our bodies fit together like a puzzle .

I get up holding him as tight as possible unwilling to let him go. We get into bed respecting and embracing the silence ;mutually savoring each other's touch.My head lays on his chest,a familiar place his heart beats, the noise becomes comforting and reliable.

After a while I drift off into the best sleep I have had for week

3 hours later

I stir in my sleep ,slowly tugging my eyes open to search for him but he's not there, my heart rate quickens until my eyes find him
"Hey"gus says with his messy bedhead hair
"Hey " I squeak
He chuckles in a low husky voice
"Gus..."
"Yeah?"
"Can we not tell anyone about this I jus.."
"Stop ,my lips are sealed- we can look after each other now"

I clamber onto his lap as he sits in the chair our lips meet his arms slither up across my bare skin making me shiver. Caressing my hair, as I nod quickly ,I move my body on top of him my heart pounding.