fri[END]s | BTS

친 구

Ever since you left... I was running. I didn't stop even for a second. I finally understood. I finally knew why you did it. Why you left. It was all obvious now. I am tired. Very, very tired. If I could only stop, I wouldn't ever take another step. But I can't. It's impossible to stop. You have to keep on running. You might want to fly, to feel how is it really like to finally be free. Spread your wings and go to the sky. Fly like a butterfly with every move of your fragile wings getting nearer and nearer the finish line. But it's impossible. I don't have wings. And you didn't too. Maybe now you do... but I am clueless.

I am left in the dark, and the only light still leading me to the better tomorrow, is knowledge that all of you are safe. That all of you are happy. That all of you are smiling looking at me. I hope that you are satisfied. I promise, I give this promise that is impossile to break. I will never stop running. I won't stop. Because I need freedom. I need what you guye have, but you couldnt stay, and I have to stay. My shoulders might be under a lot of pressure, but I will handle it. No pain will be too big for me knowing that that's how I will earn my freedom. I won't choose an easier path. I'll just keep on looking in front of me, never glancing at the dark behind. I will face all of my fears and I will never let shadows take over my life. Because that's what friends do. They remember. And I will. I will remember all of you and make sure you will never be forgoten.

My task is not yet completed. But I hope that once I achieve what I have set for myself, I get to see you all again. I get to see you smile, and even maybe, tears won't be crushing my throat, like they are now. I should stop, the way is blury and I'm losing my breath. But I can't. I won't. I don't want to. If you are looking at me now... please, forgive me. I might have been able to help you all, but in the end... I didn't. I didn't, because I didn't notice, and friends should always recognize reflection of pain in other eyes.

Life gave me so many chances to correct my mistakes, to set things straight. But I ignored them clueless. And now I'm here. I want you to know that I miss you. I miss you all, and I wish you could be here with me. Maybe you are. I want to believe that you are. That you're still here, fighting along with me. I want to believe that all of you are now my strength. The power that keeps on pushing me towards the finish line, the energy I get at the worst moments, when it seems like I will drop and will never stand up again, that is you, all of you.

I can't change what happened. I can't even erase the pain as much as I wish. There is one way to end all of this. The agony that is burning me up. There is. But I know. Something inside my heart tells me that if I choose that path, if I choose to see you all now, without completing my mission. All of us will be forgoten and will drown in shadows of lost. I will never see you.

That's why I will keep on running my friends. Endless run won't make me tired anymore. And you will be my breathe when I am out of it.
I miss you. I wish you were all here. I'll see you again soon. I promise.
- Jin.