The Boy in Black

E I G H T E E N

She heard a woman's voice in the background with tears down her cheeks while on the phone with Jaxson.

She spent most of the night telling her mother that she didn't want to meet anymore church boys, and in return got shouted at.

Mattie was in her room crying when it happened. She finally chose to ignore the thoughts that her mother practically pounded into her head and called Jaxson, which was a choice that had her somewhat relieved after hearing him answer on the second ring.

"Hello?" He answered, and she closed her eyes after hearing his voice that she mourned for so many nights to hear.

She looked across her window to his, but there was nothing but darkness.

"Jaxson?" Mattie replied, her voice cracking in the process.

"Who's that jaxie?" Mattie heard in the background. It was a woman's voice, an almost squeaky one that sounded as if she were out of breath.

Her heart immediately dropped into her stomach, and she could almost feel her stomach acid burning it until it stopped beating. She waited as if she would somehow pass out from her heart being burned, until she realized that it was simply impossible.

However she thought Jaxson with another girl was impossible too, for she believed that he loved her, but to her own horror that seemed to be a lie.

She remained silent, hearing only Jaxson curse under his breath along with his heavy breathing.

More tears burned down her cheeks, leaving a trail over the old ones as she heard another woman's voice along with Jaxson telling them to leave.

Her hand squeezed the phone in anger, and before Jaxson could speak again she was hanging up the phone and slamming it against the wall in front of her.

Her jaw was clenched and her teary eyes were furious, something inside of her erupting into a fire that she believed nothing could extinguish.

*

Day one after that, in school, her eyes remained red and puffy from all of the spilled tears just that night.

The way Jaxson looked at her that day was beyond any look that he's ever given her, and she couldn't come up with any fake expression to give him. Only the truthful one, and that was clear to him as he looked into the eyes of the girl that he knew he ruined.

And this time, she didn't look away when he stared, only looked back at the way his hair was messy and the way his eyes were sleep deprived and bloodshot.

She liked seeing that he was in pain too, because it made her pain feel less lonely.

He also mouthed the words I'm sorry over and over again when he first saw her the next day from across the hallway, biting his lip afterwards before bowing his head, visibly ashamed at what he's done to the girl he loved. Loves.

Their relationship hasn't been long, but it's been long enough to gain plenty of memories to mourn over.

Now she was sitting in class, and for the first time ever, she did nothing. No work, no assignments, no reading, nothing.

He noticed how she slouched when she used to sit up straight as if happy to be where she was and happy to learn new things. She was turning into him, and that was something he could not bare to see.

She didn't tap her pencil on the desk in front of her like she used too, nor did she even bother to take it out from her bag. She only sat and stared down at her wooden desk as if it were one of her story books, as if it held some sort of story.

He knew then that she was thinking of something. What ever it was about was a mystery to him, and he hated that it had to be a mystery.

"Maddox, you're up." The teacher who's name he neglected to remember called on him, and he mentally groaned.

They had to read their poems out loud, the ones that they were assigned to make from scratch about any subject in the world.

He loved to write poems and stories, however most of them were vulgar and not so school appropriate. And now, as he remembered that he didn't even do the assignment, stood up anyways and walked to the front of the class with many wide eyed girls staring at him with lustful thoughts lurking in their brains.

He looked to the front of the class and his eyes immediately shot down to Mattie whom was now staring up at him with wet eyes.

She tried not to look up, but found herself doing so anyways after feeling him so close as he walked passed her just seconds before.

They way his muscular arm almost brushed hers, the way she could almost devour his scent, the way he was so close but yet so far away. She simply couldn't help but look up at the boy that had her finally opening her eyes to the real world around her.

"Where's your paper?" The man asked, his name still blurry in Jaxson's mind.

"I memorized it." He replied, his voice making Mattie hold back more tears.

She looked down to his hands, imagining them between another girls legs. And after that she looked to his plump lips, his lips that had to have been brushed against another girls neck just that night. She wiped furiously at her cheek, feeling a lump in her throat rise and fall as he began to tell his poem:

"Let the darkness fall, my love. For if it rose, would it be darkness at all?" He paused to swallow his emotions as he saw Mattie wipe away a tear.

"Let the darkness within you pass away, and let it disappear into the happiness of day."

Mattie finally met his eye contact, and when she did she could feel herself falling once again even though she knew she shouldn't be.

"Let it die not in your heart, but in your dreams, for that's where you'll find me.
And if I neglect to be there as well, just know that I'm in hell, for without you, I may as well be." He clenched his fists at the remembrance of that same night, at how stupid he was for ever trying to replace Mattie with another woman's body.

"And if that day comes where I'm not in your dreams, tell me, and I'll become the inexistent darkness that falls within you."

The class remained silent, and the unknown name of the teacher was the first to speak.

"Well, I could tell there was a rhyming pattern at the beginning but it seemed to lack at the end?" He asked, writing down notes on his clipboard.

Jaxson ignored him, and remained looking at Mattie with his eyes filled with sorrow.

Mattie bit her lip, forcing anymore tears from falling down her cheeks as girls around the classroom began to follow Jaxson's eye contact to her.

"Sorry." Jaxson replied, and began to walk back to his seat, slowing down as he neared Mattie.

She hesitated, but grabbed his hand as the teacher began to call another student up.

Jaxson froze, surprised by her action.

She squeezed his large hand in her own, feeling his contact give her entire body the warmth that it desperately needed after feeling cold for too long.

She held him for only a few seconds, and finally let go, knowing that it was wrong to show him sympathy after what he's done.

_____