Forbidden Fruit

I.

Natía

"Why are you always at his house? Every time I come back, you're not home cause you're always there." Vincent barked in my ear, I finally answered his phone call after a couple days.

"Why do you always rain check? Every time we make legit plans to just be in each others' presence, you have to do something important." I reply, sipping from a glass of white wine and sitting in a warm bath.

"I do have things that are important that I have to do, and besides, you'll be fine. It wasn't like Wednesday was our anniversary or some shit." He keeps going strong with that stupid excuse I know better than to believe now.

"Oh," I hang up. I figured that he had probably forgotten but I didn't know that he actually did. Him saying that was like him saying, " I'll only be with you when it's socially obligated."

Sheer tears are shed of course, smearing the make-up I had on for our 'make-up anniversary' date that, again, never happened. This was the third time this month and as much as I wanted to say this is it, a part of me clings onto his promises that constantly slithered from his pearly whites and smooth pink lips. Four years strong and I don't want this glass to slip off the silky black table cloth of life and shatter because I can't be patient and wait for my turn in Vincent's 'busy' life.

-~-

"I don't know why you say that." Jeremiah sighed as he laid in my lap and I intertwine my fingers throughout his short soft twist. The Looney Tunes short 'Roadrunner & Wild E. Coyote' played on cassette tape on his television where the bird would occasionally go "meep, meep".

That old saying, "Diamonds are a girl's best friend.", was a lie. If every girl in the world had themselves a Jeremiah, diamonds would be worthless compared to him. His company is utterly priceless.

"Say what?" I ask, even though I already know what he's talking about, gotta play dumb sometimes.

"You always make it seem like its on you. Like, if I had a girl and I just stay out doing whatever, right or wrong, and she blames herself for not waiting for me to come back and for being 'hasty', don't that seem like bullshit." He turned his head and looked up to me for my answer. He was right, he always was.

I sucked my teeth in somewhat denial and told him he was correct. He told me not to suck my teeth at him because he was right and we laughed although it wasn't really a joke and it got silent so I started pouring my focus into the television. It was an episode where Porky ate fries that Speedy put on the table in the house but Daffy thought they cane with his sandwich so of course he got mad and said he wouldn't talk to Porky until he says sorry. It got to the point where Bugs told Porky that Daffy was sorry and Porky was sorry to Daffy when Jeremiah broke to the silence.

"Do you really listen to me when I talk?" He questioned.

"Yeah, of course. Who wouldn't?" I respond, a mouthful of grapes.

"Then why you ain't left that nigga, yet. We both know he doing you dirty." He began to argue and it hit a nerve, I almost choked on skin I pulled of my grape.

"J, you know how much I love Vince, I can't just let him go all of a sudden and be normal. It's not that easy." I explain, thinking that I had this argument in the bag.

"Tia, its men who would love to treat you better than he does and you know it. I swear you don't even have to look that damn far to find one." He continued, the trophy was up fur grabs at this point in the dispute, this happened often. He would probably win.

"Like who, Jesus?" I scoff and pop another grape in my mouth.

"No. Like me." He confessed.

I spit out my grape and looked at him breathlessly, my heart beat so fast that I was sure it thought it was in an unfair race with my head, my mind was slow at trying to figure I'd m out of he had really just said that.

"Nahh!" We convulsed into laughter but I realized that his was cut short when he but his lip and started staring elsewhere to avoiding making eye contact, beads of tears started to form as his eyes got glassy.

"Y-you weren't joking--were you?" I inquired but he wouldn't answer, for once I was right.

"I'm sorry. I-I didn't know that...I mean it's sweet and all but--J, look at me." I clutch his jaw in my palm, my maroon acrylic nails softly pierce his cheeks as I force his attention to me.

"I'm listening." He shakes his face from my grasp and puts his head in his knees, shielding his face in his folded arms.

"I love Vincent, even though things aren't the best sometimes. I love him, I can't let that go. You know that I value our friendship just as much, if it was that you were serious, our friendship would change forever. I don't wanna risk that." I conclude the situation, the awkwardness was substituted by silence again.

"Listen, I've got work in the morning so I've got to go home and get some rest because you know my boss is ass." I laugh, usually he would too but he didn't do I just let it go. "--yeah, come lock the door behind me, will ya?"

He finally nods and walks me out.

"J?" I call for him before he closes the door.

"Yeah." He answers nonchalantly and I can tell I let him down.

"--nothing. Good night." I swallow what I was about to say and start to walk to my car through the thick snow in his front yard.

-~-

I get home again and check my phone that I left on the charger. Nothing. No 'baby I'm sorry I forgot our anniversary' missed call or voice message. Ugh.

I change into my night gown and climb into my king bed, alone and since everything is bigger here in Texas, I'm miles away from warmth without someone to hold or to hold me. I close my eyes and hold back tears.

Jeremiah didn't even say goodnight.