Not Good Enough (Falling in Reverse and Escape the Fate FanFic)

4. A Slightly Better Conversation

Carter's POV:

Our last encounter (me and Ronnie that is) went so badly I failed to mention that him and I were twins. Both of us had vans, black skinny jeans, and gray Misfit tees on. I thought it was kinda funny. I was going to use it to start a conversation with him. I fought with myself over the desision to get the room across from his, but when i heard him call "Found my room" I couldn't resist. I have given up. I fully and completely admit I have a thing for Mr. Playboy Ronnie Radke.Who wouldn't? He cute, so cute, smart, a terrific singer and screamer, and funny. I would say sweet and loving, but I overheard about Paige.... I'm not sure why it makes me so jealous. Oh yah, it's because of my feelings for him. I almost choke on the word feelings. I hate feelings. Feelings lead to crushes. crushes lead to liking, liking leads to loving, and loving ends in heartbreak. Call me a pesimist, but the way I see it, any, every, and all relationships based on "love" fail. Simply because this little thing we call love doesn't not exist. I've felt this way since I was three when my dad left, he said he "loved" our mom, and max and I. But then one day he just left. if that's love I'd rather be alone. And I know that you think three is a young age to throw love out the window, but I don't. If anyone understood what I was truly going through.... It would instantly remove any happy thought from their heads. Ugh, I hate this sad and angry side of me. but if I don't get it out I'll go back to my old ways, drugs, excessive drinking, self harm......

"Carter?"

I nearly screamed at the sound. I had been sitting on the floor in the corner of my new room for what seemed like hours just letting my thoughts roam. It had only been ten minutes but everyone was looking for me. I lifted my head to the voice expecting Max. But no, it was... Ronnie? I could tell by the voice. I didn't even bother looking at him.

"Uhm, hey?" I said, my confusion clear.

"Sorry, I was the closest one to you. Everyone's been calling your name. We are gonna go to Max's and get some boxes. You wanna come?" It was weird, his voice was... Caring? No. No way.

"I really don't" I said, remembering how cramped it was earlier.

"Oh, don't worry, Monte, Robert and Craig are gonna hang back. Most of their stuff is already here. And they're getting ready for Jacen to move in." He said, as if reading my thoughts, it actually scared me. And I didn't really know who Jacen was. Nor did I care to know.

"Okay, I'll go, I guess. I just want all my stuff." I said, without any emotion what so ever in my voice.

"Er, um... Are you okay?" Ronnie said, the awkwardness in his voice was hard to miss.

"Yah. I'm fine." i said blankly, emotion still gone from my voice. I wasn't even looking at him anymore. Then I heard footsteps across my hardwood floor. I looked up and saw Ronnie's hand extended toward me.

"Here. I'll help you up." There was that caring spreckle in his voice again.... I must be imagining it. I ignored my thoughts as well as his hand. I stood up by my own accord and walked past him, out the room, and down the stairs. Not looking at him once.

Ronnie's POV:

I heard everyone calling her name for a really long time. So I got my lazy self up and went to her room. She was... Sitting on the floor?

"Carter?" I could tell I startled her, but she didn't look up at me.

"Uhm, hey?" She said, more of a question then anything.

"Sorry, I was the closest one to you. Everyone's been calling your name. We are gonna go to Max's and get some boxes. You wanna come?" I asked, trying not to sound concered. Why should I be?