The Bad Boy Thinks I'm Cute

Dissappointment

I was talking with Ryan, who was carrying my stuff and walking me to my next class, when Avril came up and shooed him away.

"Avril," I hiss,"The one moment I get a decent hot guy and you shoo him away. "

"Oh shut the hell up. Something is wrong with Parker. He mentioned you hanging out with player boy Ryan over there and he is really upset or disturbed or something. He just doesn't look like he normally does. He said you said something to him earlier and I'm assuming it was bitchier than what you said to me at lunch. " Avy looks at me with an expectant look.

"Um, what do you want me to say..."

"Something is going on between the two of you and I know it. You can say you guys hate each other, but I'm starting to think it is simply tough love. "

"Oh, yes. I'm head over heels for him and he stole my heart. I'm in love with the dumbass. " I say sarcastically. "Please, this is Parker Adams we're talking about, not Ryan, the actual hot guy here. "

"I can't believe you right now. Talk to me again when you're actually there. Because right now I'm not talking to my friend. I'm talking to someone else. " She snaps. Avy stands there for a second and wipes the tears that were trying to fall out of her eyes before sniffling, shaking her head, and walking away.

That gets me. Like a slap in the face. I stand there with a shocked look on my face and I can feel my cheeks burning. I always get like that when Avril is mad at me, which has only happened once before. My heart is banging against my chest, but slowly instead of quickly. I have a sinking feeling in my stomach and all of a sudden I don't want to talk to anyone or deal with their average stupid shit.

That's the feeling I get every single time someone I love is either disappointed in me or mad at me. I'm not sure who exactly I feel worse about. Avril got upset with me earlier when I ditched her, Parker, and Jacob at lunch after telling her off to defend Ryan. I felt guilty as soon as I called her boy crazy and realized that I had been a complete bitch. It was uncalled for. And now she is even more upset with me because Parker is.

I was mean to Parker earlier, too. He wanted to just talk and I called him a creepy, disgusting pig and told him to leave me alone. Again, anther bitchy asshole move. I felt bad about that, too, but in the end I did all of it for Ryan. He alone made me turn on my friends. Is he really worth all of it? Do I want him or my friends? I'm going to have to find a way for both of them.

I love Avril and I can deal with Jacob, he is cool. And Parker...I don't know where I stand with him. I like him, but sometimes I feel like I want to be his friend while other times I ignore him.

The period flies by and all I do is act like I'm paying attention the whole time when I'm worrying about myself and my relationships. I just got everything together and now it's falling apart. I changed for the better and now it is backfiring. By the time the way-too-loud bell rings, Ryan realizes something's wrong and he holds my hand on the way to my locker. Even though my friends wouldn't approve, I appreciated the supportive gesture. It was sweet and not too pushy.

"So there's a party at my place after school today. It's a kickoff party for the winter season. My parents are out. It may be bad to do that, but, heck, you only live once, am I right? " He says as I pack my stuff up to leave.

He looks at me when I try to hide my face with my hands and he grabs my hand away from my face.

"Hey, did I say something?" Ryan asks with a worried look.

"No, no. " I shake my head and start breaking down crying right there in front of him. "I'm sorry, oh my gosh. I'm sorry, this is so embarrassing. "

"No, it's ok, Aubrey. Come here. " He pulls me into his chest and I can't help but think Parker is warmer and smells better than Ryan.

Don't get me wrong, Ryan smells pretty good, but I would rather have Parker hug me. Probably because I know Parker better...

I hide my face in his chest before turning my head and looking out at everyone passing by. Suddenly, I see Parker walk by and he just looks at me with a look like he can't stand me before shaking his head and continuing to walk away, just like Avril did. I pull out of Ryan's arms and look into his concerned eyes. My heart sinks again, but I push away the feeling again.

"You know what?" I put a fake smile on my face. "A party sounds great. I just will do without the drinking. I'm not going to do anything illegal, thats for sure. I'm already in enough stuff to begin with. "

"That's great. I'm so glad you're coming, beautiful. " He wipes a tear from my cheek.

I can't help but smile when he says that and Ryan returns a half grin to me.

"You're being really nice to me. " I sniffle, getting my backpack and coat on.

"Because I'm trying to win you over. You're hot. You got me. " He holds up his hands and laughs.

"Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself. " I laugh and start walking off. "I'll see you tonight, but I will have to sneak out through my window. Come pick me up?"

I write down my address on a sticky note and hand it to him.

"You can count on it. " Ryan winks at me and gives me a kiss on the cheek, making me blush.

I let out a little giggle and he walks away.

What a gentleman. Why can't all guys be like him? I'm going to have a blast at this party tonight.