secrets (one direction)

secrets (one direction self harm story

Part one.

(Alexas pov)Walking to the medicine cabinet I could feel my hands shaking. I reached up and grabbed the handles pulling the door open to reveal nothing but the little black box containing my addiction. Looking down I smiled at the blade tinted red from our previous encounters. "Alexa you home ?" I heard his voice and my head shot up.

"Shit" i quickly turned the water on and sat on the floor staying quite. I pressed the corner of the blade to my thigh running it slowly across my skin until I felt the familiar sting. Blood began to trickle forming little bubbles where the blade had broken skin. I couldn't stop,dragging the blade I pressed harder letting the edge sink deeper and deeper into my skin. I continued to makes lines, blood pooling in the center of each one. Finally I let out a cry of pain and let my body lean slumped against the wall in defeat my thigh red and completely covered in blood.

(Nialls pov)

It was a long day of work and I was pretty tired. I wanted to go home and go to bed before I passed out or had a breakdown in front of the guys again. It's a constant thing, the boys and I hang out and work all day. The only free time I have it when I'm at home with Alexa and even then I don't usually get a break. Alexa's been quite lately and when I ask her what's wrong she usually makes up some excuse that's she's fine but I can see it in her eyes. Something is defiantly bothering her. I said bye to everyone and drove home singing little things the entire way home. The song reminded me of alexa and i loved it. As I walked inside I couldn't see her but I could hear the water running. She must have been in the shower. I decided to go to bed and rest before she was done.

Alexa)

I got in the tub filling it up with hot water. My fresh cuts turning the water red and throbbing driving me crazy. I knew Niall was home so I tried going faster. closing my eyes I smiled feeling better. I must have fallen asleep because I was woken up to Niall kicking on the door

"Alexa are you okay?!"

"What's going on in there?"he was shouting panic in his voice

"I'm fine I said "coming right out" I stood up and grabbed a towel wrapping it around myself and covering my thigh hiding it from the eyes of Niall. I drained the tub and looked at myself in the mirror

"disgusting" I hated everything about me my hair my nose my chin everything. Niall knocked on the door one last time and I pushed it open

"WHAT" I yelled kind of startled to see Niall sitting on my bed gripping my book in his hands. The book was my way of counting. It had a chart on it, half of the pages were ripped and crossed out I might add. It was there to show me how weak I was. It was a list of all the days I hadn't cut then when I gave up I would cross everything out again. The pages were disgusting worn and even containing a few drops of blood.

"What is this, please tell me it's not yours" Niall asked keeping his eyes on me.

"I..I can explain" I stuttered and my eyes began to tear up.

"Show me now" he commanded and stood up. I was so scared I don't think I could have even moved.

(Niall)

I was just about to take a quick nap when a journal caught my eye. I had never seen this one before, yet it was like I had always been around. I picked it up and began turning through the pages when the words in capital letters sort of just stood out

"DAYS SINCE I CUT" I had to look a few times before It finally hit me.

"No this can't be hers not my little girl" the thought was racing in my mind. I was mesmerized and could not stop reading page after page made me feel even worse I had a huge headache and my temper was growing.