Look out to a strange lavender sky that is so familiar and so strange at the same time.
Welcome, To Night Vale
Breaking News, The large, Dark Eye that you were never to know about, but knew anyway, and the larger Glow Cloud have gotten engaged today.
They happily announced by picking up all newly weds in town crushing them to pieces and raining the entrails on a newly opened wedding parlor near the center of town.
I, for one, think it is wonderful that they have finally found each other and I wish them the bes- Wait....give me a moment...it seems the couple would like to be interviewed, excuse me for a moment, dear listeners
(Grabs a mic and recorder sound quality slightly changes. Runs outside to find the couple hovering out side the station)
They hover over the station as I speak, I guess I could yell the questions although neither of them have visible hearing devices as far as I can see...
(a dark rumble and an arm falls out of the sky)
oops, they heard that, and...
(some unintelligible garble and yelling)
They would like to speak to the community.... okay!
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY EYE
ALL HAIL THE PTA
ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD
HAIL
HAIL THE BIRTH OF A NEW GOD
ALL HAIL THE GLOW EYE
HAIL
(back in studio now)
Whelp... They sure seem happy!
Wish you both the best of luck!
Now, onto the community calendar
Monday is Pet Language Day.
Listen to what you pet has to say.
Now if you have any form of pet bird, kill it immediately.
Birds are prohibited in Night Vale and are spies for World Government.
There's a reason parrots repeat what you say! Kill it now!
Tuesday has forgotten what day of the week it is...
Is it between Saturday and Sunday?... I dunno.... You figure it out.
Wednesday is a very special day. we will burn the Library for the 50th time this week. there will be a need for wood or any flammable material, so make sure to bring your city required flamethrowers and also bring smores!
Thursday is nothing
It doesn't exist
It never did
Friday is an illusion as well
Saturday and Sunday are now officially a week long.
And that was the end of the community calendar
Back to our earlier story, the Glow Eye seems to have been born moments ago.
Witnesses report seeing a black, blinding light in the sky and when it dissipated, between the Glow Cloud and the Large Eye you aren't supposed to know about is a slightly smaller lighter colored eye emitting a duller and more tolerable black light. witnesses also report that the light... It's so peaceful... It's so Mighty...
All people viewing it are now chanting
HAIL THE NEW SON
HAIL THE REBIRTH
HAIL THE EYE
HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD
HAIL
HAIL THE GLOW EYE
HAIL
In a seemingly never-ending loop.
(ding in background)
Perfect Carlos, texting me right now comments about this situation.....
ahem..
I told everyone this was gonna happen, but no one listened!?
It's my OTP!!!!!
Science says that it will last for the next 26 minutes and then all of it will disappear, but in my heart, they will always be together.
Oh, and what do you want to do after our date tonight?
Well, it seems My Beautiful Carlos is just as happy about the couple as we all are.
Now, I want to see this beautiful glow child, so for now dear listeners, till the last 24 minutes are done, I give you
THE WEATHER
If you didn't see that beautiful sight, them you missed something amazing!
or at least i think it was
i really can't quite remember what it looked like
or what it even was
Anyway.. Intern Amy is tapping on my booth's window.
Her eyes are.. gone and her tongue is lolling out of her open mouth.
She wishes to enter.
Okay...
She is in my doorway now.
Her eyes' sockets seem to be glowing.
One is darker and larger.
The other is smaller and has a duller light.
Her tongue retracts
THIS MORTAL WAS WILLING
TO HOUSE US
MY FAMILY
WE ARE UNITED IN ONE
WE ARE AMY
WE ARE THE GLOW EYE
HAIL US, MORTAL
(Dull thud and muffled sounds heavy breathing)
I tried to grab my phone to call someone, but i missed and grabbed.. I don't know what this is and hit the doorway. Amy, the intern, ran away with an evil smile on her face.
To the Family of Amy Smetzer, It was in the job description , but oh well. We will miss her and pray in our bloodstone circles for her safe return from host of a newborn god, I think? I don't know...
Now, as Amy's footfalls go off into the blank desert, we smile and are happy, that we can witness something as beautiful as what we did today. We watch the skies for our nightly showing our preprogrammed stars and sigh, to think we might be alive for just a while longer. Now, sink into your beds, ignore the helicopters and get some sleep. sllleeeeeeep.
Good Night
Night Vale,
Good Night
