Twiggy

Chapter 8

I woke from a fitful sleep. I hadn't arrived back at the fog land, but I had been met by an evil cat- the voice, but now with a face- and he tried to kill me. I reminded myself that was normal. After all, it had happened in every dream with him in it. But the ominous words he had said were still stuck in my head. "She's gone. Don't look for her."
It was bone chilling because I knew what he had meant. He had done something to my Mother. I knew she was dead, but I also knew it was possible for someone to hurt a dead cat. What did he do to her?
Ever since the comet that killed my Mother there had always been a presence there comforting me. I couldn't feel that today.
I could barely muster the strength to step from my nest, let alone walk to where Silver Sky was sleeping with Comet. I licked their heads slowly. Comet squirmed as if she could sense something was wrong. I opened my jaws and my voice cracked. "I'm sorry." I turned, only to look back. "I'll come back."
This time when I turned, I didn't look back.
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My journey was hard. I kept stumbling over branches on the ground, and even over my paws. How clumsy could I get?
My belly growled at me, pleading for a meal, but I couldn't stop. Not yet.
When I found myself considerably far from my den with Silver Sky and Comet, I gave in to my hunger. I lifted my nose to search for the scent of prey. I soon found a vole crouched in a bush. You can't get away. I thought as I crept forward. As I neared, the vole shrieked and its eyes glazed in fear.
I almost felt sorry for it as I killed it with a deft blow to the head.
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I squirmed in my makeshift nest, made of bracken and leaves. It wasn't as comfortable as the moss at my other nest, but it would have to do. After what seemed like forever, I still couldn't sleep, so I got up and decided to go for a walk.
I couldn't smell fox or badger anywhere so I felt reasonably safe. Not as safe as with Silver Sky and Comet, though. Those two were the lights in my life, and I had left them.
I padded softly down the trail, tail hung low. After I ran into a confused crow, I realized that I shouldn't feel sorry for myself. After all, it had been my idea to leave. And because of that, I would always feel terrible.
You probably wonder why I even left. I didn't necessarily even have to leave, but I wanted too. An owl hooted sleepily into the night, making me feel even more alone. Stop it, Twiggy. You can't complain for what you chose to do.
You know, the voice in my head is usually right. Maybe I should start listening to it more often. But even as I thought this, my mind broke off in different thoughts, most of them Comet and Silver Sky. Stop. It.
I pushed all the memories out of my mind, good or bad. Right now I needed to focus on walking. I needed to focus on getting away from my shame. You're annoying. My inner voice said. 'Thank you.' I thought. 'I love you too.'
You've never loved me. I don't even try anymore. Poor me. Even my own inner voice doesn't love me.
I kept walking around for a nest, ignoring the stupid voices talk. Also, you're really stupid. You never listen to anyone but then expect them to obey you! I subtly flicked my ears, not really caring anymore, besides the fact it reminded me of someone else. . . . But it was fine. If this voice wanted to bother me, then fine. That was its choice.
Eventually, I found a good tree to sleep on. It was pine, it's branches spread wide and low, with just enough room to squeeze under. It wasn't perfect, but it would have to do. I lay down on a bed of pine needles and was soon swept into dream land.
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Sometimes you just want to be alone. That was how I felt right now. When the voice spoke to me, I just about clawed its eyes out, before I realized it didn't have any eyes- or body for that matter.
"Hello, Twiggy. I see you left your family for your selfish mission. I hope you're happy with yourself." It said. That was it! This dream-voice, it was in my head. My inner voice. But . . . but did that mean I held myself down, that I kept myself from escaping the comet?
I analyzed the question. It- no he, it was a he, wanted to know why I had left. But shouldn't he know? He was me, after all.
"You're me." I meowed in disbelief.
"What? I'm you?" It said in mock disbelief.
I flicked my brown tail, trying with all my urge not to run or something. Why was my mind so annoying?
"Can we just have a nice conversation?" I gritted my teeth and did my best not to snap.
"Does my body have an anger issue?"
His body. I was his body. "No, I don't actually. You're just really taunting."
"Oh, sorry. Did I offend you?"
"Yes, actually."
"Oh, I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?"
I just about yowled with all my might, but I managed to keep my voice under control. "You can get out of my head."
"Sorry, I can't do that. Anything else?"
"No."
"Well then. I guess I really can't do anything if you don't want me to. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed our little talk."
I was going to ask if I would wake up, but I started to walk uncontrollably forward, then back, then sideways. Oh no. Could it control my body now?
I tensed, trying to wake up, but I couldn't seem to. I just went in circles, circles, and more circles. I yowled, pain cutting through my stomach. He was hurting me from the inside. "Stop!" I yowled. "Stop it, stop!' Then I felt a pounding in my head as a claw swiped across my throat.
I gurgled, blood rising at my neck. It hurt, it hurt so bad. I reached up and clawed at my throat, trying to stop the pain, and everything went black.
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I woke with a pounding headache. I could feel a searing pain in my stomach, and my throat felt as if it had been ripped out. I looked down to see blood matting my fur and the forest floor. What . . . what happened?
I shook my head, but I was only welcomed by a sting in my throat. I just about yowled in pain when I head a voice. You did this to yourself.
I did this to myself? Why would I hurt myself so badly? Because you're insane. And there's no way to fix that.