It's hard for me to love someone new.
You have my heart.
I say this for a reason.
Eleanor.
I remember you hating her.
Saying she stole me away from you.
I thought you were dumb.
Jealous.
Insecure.
But when you started to "date" Taylor.
I was the same.
I felt so dumb.
So fucking worthless.
I just wanted to end it.
I couldn't help but see you with her.
I just wanted to die.
I came to visit you today.
I brought flowers.
And Eleanor.
She said she misses you.
I don't believe her.
I think it's all a trap.
I just wanted to be nice though.
She's a friend.
A close friend.
She held me when I cried over you.
She told me it's alright.
She told me you'll always love me.
She kissed me.
I felt so scared.
I didn't kiss back.
Who would?
I stared at her with wide eyes.
She smiled and walked away.
I didn't know what to do.
She just kissed me in front of you.
I felt so dirty.
I ran home.
I didn't want to drive back anyways.
I ran inside and slammed the door.
I ran upstairs.
Tears.
There were tears all over the place.
I ran into the bathroom.
I had to get rid of that feeling.
I added a couple more scars.
Add to my collection.
I cut so much I felt dizzy.
I smiled in achievement.
It was happening.
It felt so good.
But then I saw someone.
Blonde hair is what I saw.
Niall.
He found me lying here.
Half awake.
"Bye Niall, I love you."
I smile at his face.
Next thing I was in a ambulance.
I saw going to live.
I didn't want to.
I just wanted to die.
