Another Day, Another Door

Chapter 3

2 WEEKS LATER

"Hey," Dan said as he took his usual seat in front of Patrick at one of the outside lunch tables. "Hey," Patrick answered as he quickly shut his lyrics notebook. He shoved it back into his backpack. Dan looked at him curiously. "Mind if I ask what you crammed in your bag?"

"It's nothing. It's...it's stupid really," Patrick said nervously. Dan cocked an eyebrow at his friend and gave him an interrogative look. Patrick sighed and took his notebook back out. "You've got to promise not to tell anyone. But, I, umm, write songs," he said as he set the notebook in the middle of them.

Dan's eyes widened and a smile appeared on his face. "You too?" he said happily. Patrick was caught way off guard. "Wait. You write songs?" he asked Dan.

Dan nodded. "Since middle school," he added. "Do you play anything?" Patrick inquired further. Dan shrugged, "Guitar... a little piano. But mainly drums."

Patrick's smile grew wider. "I play guitar and drums too," he said. Both boys felt like they were little kids in kindergarten, getting overexcited about a shared passion. In this case many shared passions. Dan slowly put a hand on Patrick's notebook. "May I?" he asked, aching to take a look at his friend's work.

"Sure. I mean, it's not very good," Patrick said as Dan opened the notebook. His eyes carefully scanned page after page as he read in silence for a few minutes. Patrick knew he was doing more than reading the words. He was digesting them. Letting them sink in from the perspective of a songwriter.

"Wow, Patrick, these are really good. Like, really good," Dan said as he closed the notebook and handed it back to its owner. Patrick smiled, "Thanks. I've never really shown my work to anyone. Do you have any songs on you right now?"

Dan took out a few loose papers out of his bag and handed them to Patrick. There were scribbles all over the front and back of each page. Patrick's eyebrows lifted as he read his friend's work. From his perspective, Dan's lyrics were leaps and bounds better than his. The words seemed to flow together so flawlessly and each line was deep with meaning. He noticed that out of the five songs he was holding, three of them had to do with Dan's internal struggle with his illness.

Patrick desperately wanted to ask his friend about his depression. About what it was like and how he could help, but it seemed like such a sensitive topic. He decided it was better just to keep quiet.

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As the rest of the week dragged on, Dan and Patrick started work on two new songs. The pages would have a small water mark here and there from the drinks they had at lunch. After all it was the only time the boys could have a bit of privacy for songwriting.

That Friday, Dan walked out to the courtyard but stopped when he saw that their usual table was empty. Patrick always got here before Dan, so where was he? 

Dan just shrugged and walked over to the empty spot. But before he got there he noticed Patrick sitting by himself on a small bench, eating his lunch. He looked a little pathetic to be honest.

Dan changed his course and sat next to Patrick. "What are you doing over here?" he asked, trying to get comfortable on this tiny bench. "Just wanted a change in scenery. That's all. Problem?" Patrick asked. "Oh...no. Just kind of, I don't know, weird," Dan picked at his food.

He tried getting comfortable but it was a small bench and he was a big person. "Can't we sit back at the table? I don't really fit here," Dan said. "I think I'd like to stay here. At least for today," Patrick answered. 

Dan rolled his eyes and stood up, "Well, I'm going back to the table. You're welcome to join." Patrick shook his head no. Dan looked at him strangely then walked back over to the table alone. What got into his friend?

Dan sat in his loneliness and slowly picked at his food. He looked around and noticed a group of people sitting at the table next to his. They were eyeing him and he could tell he was being judged. He averted his eyes and looked anywhere but that table. Out of the corner of his eye he saw them whisper amongst themselves as they continued to look at him.

The rest of lunch continued that way. As soon as the bell rang Dan darted off to his next class with Patrick.

"It was those people wasn't it?" Dan asked Patrick as he painted his crappy piece of art. Both boys were working on their art projects. "What do you mean?" Patrick looked at his friend sitting next to him. 

Dan sighed, "Dude, I may not have known you for long, but I can tell when you're lying. Why didn't you just tell me those people were making you feel uncomfortable?"

Patrick sighed. "It's not just that, it's...I try to stay away from them, okay? End of story." Dan focused on his art but was still deeply invested in his friend. "No, no, no. There's something else," Dan said. Patrick just stayed silent and continued his own project. 

"Patrick, whatever it is, I can help. I know what it's like...not being understood all the time. People don't get it. When they try to help it feels like they're making things worse right? So you try and hide it, hoping everybody will leave you alone. You can tell me though," Dan said, as he stopped working on his project.

Patrick looked over at the genuine look of concern on his friend's face and seriously thought about telling him. It wasn't that big a secret but he still felt insecure about it. 

"Maybe later," he said after awhile and started back on his project. Dan frowned as they spent the rest of class not talking to each other. Dan was wondering when "later" was going to come around but after a week he knew Patrick wasn't going to tell him. 

He wondered if he'd ever find out. Was Patrick's secret that embarrassing?