Boys Only

So Close

Louis flicked on the music player in his bedroom. He stood up and beckoned for his wife to stand up with him. "Lou-Bear! What song?" Andrea asked excitedly, standing up and rushing over to him. He smirked gently, and took her waist in one hand, her hand in the other. "Listen." On the CD he had made for her started to flow the song from Enchanted. He knew it was her favorite movie, and she knew every word.

Her eyes welled up with tears. "Boo Bear you sweetheart..." he lead her around the room, making his dancing smooth and his leading strong. He was so in love with Andrea, and she was so in love with him. "I always wanted a fairytale ending... you're mine... I thought... I thought when Vladimir left me and the boys, I thought I could never have that. No guy could be so understanding to marry a woman who already has four children... but you..."

He cut her off with a gentle kiss, pressing his lips against hers in a most delicate way. Once he pulled away, he pulled her closer to him, still swaying to the music. "Want to have another? A kid, all our own?" Louis had felt like he wanted one since he married Andrea. Of course he loved the boys, sweet Liam... Niall and Zayn, and who could forget Harry, who was only 2 when Louis met the love of his life. "If I should lose you now..." Andrea mouthed along with the music, resting her head on her husband. He shook his head gently.

"You're never to lose me. That's a command. Promise me?" She gave him a little smile. "I promise..." she said, tracing little heart patterns on Louis' chest.

Suddenly, the room started to fade. The curtains dulled in color, as the sun does over the years. The bookshelf gained three books that were handmade, and 5 letters. The carpet wore a bit, color fading, newness going away. The closet emptied significantly, left only with one person's clothes. The ghost of Andrea faded out of Louis' arms. "So close... and still so far..." the words poured out of the speaker. Louis could stand it no longer. He opened the window of the once shared bedroom, letting in the cold of winter.

He stepped out onto his roof, of the house he bought with his best friend. Out of the radio spilled out the next song he had put on for Andrea.

If I could fly... I'd be coming right back home to you...

The man started to sob. He completely lost it. There was nothing left for him.

I'm missing half of me, when we're apart...

He had kids that he loved dearly, and they loved him dearly. But they weren't his kids. The one Andrea had been pregnant with was his. The one that had died with her.

Pain gets hard...

His brother could never understand. He and Andrea were supposed to grow old with each other. They were supposed to live with each other for the rest of their days. Louis was supposed to die first, he was older. It was only fair!

He sat on the roof and pulled his legs to his chest. Only one thought ran through his broken mind.

Why did she have to die?
WHY did she have to die?
Why did SHE have to die?
Why did she HAVE to die?
Why did she have to DIE?
Why did she have to die?
Why did she have to die?
Why did she have to die?
Why did she have to die?
Why did she have to die?
Why did she have to die?
Why did she have to die?
WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE?!

The music turning off didn't register in Louis' mind. Nor did the sound of a moving chair in the room. Neither did the sound of someone else coming out onto the roof.

"Um... I-I'm sorry mum died... one time... when I was little... mum got me a guinea pig... it passed away... I-I know it's not the same thing, because this hurts a lot more... but it's all I h-have." Zayn looked at his weeping father through his long eyelashes. Somehow, that registered in the older man's mind.

Zayn knew nothing else that he could do to comfort someone in a time of tragedy, but give a hug, like it said in Big Hero 6. He gently put his arms around his dad, the one he knew better, the one that he liked. He never cared for the other man the way he cared for Louis. Especially when Vladimir walked out on their family.

Sure it was a broken home, a hard place to live at times. There were severe places of heart break, there were moments of pain. There were fearful days and nights, there were seconds in strife. But as Zayn hugged Louis tightly, everything seemed to shift.

Yes it was all those things, but it was also much more. It was a family. In the broken hearts there were fixes. In the moments of pain there was a shoulder to cry onto. In the fear there was a comforting presence. In the seconds of strife there were minutes of laughter.

As the son and father sat on the roof together, the house was slowly getting sewn back together. Broken hearts being put back into place. Finally, Louis felt the most at peace with the untimely death of his wife than he ever had before.

"Thank you Zayn..." Louis mumbled tiredly, holding his son tight. Zayn nodded, cuddling closer to his father. They watched as the winter sun set over a frosty horizon. Tomorrow would be a new day... it was so close.