Letters to a Stranger [discontinued]

Letter 16: Regret

December 23, 2013

Dear Stranger,

There were no words to be spoken between us when we saw each other again.

She looked like she was doing better without me. She seemed happier with her new friend who seemed to be like her, wearing shorts I despised and pastel colours with flower crowns on their heads.

I'm not saying that they had actual flower crowns on their heads but they might as well be. They looked like fucking angels with their smiles and the gleam in their eyes.

When her friend left for a bit, she immediately turned to me with a scowl on her face. I don't mind that she doesn't like me anymore. I've accepted that fact with open arms but it still hurts sometimes, you know?

Because we're humans and we love to hurt. We're always going to sin whether we like it or not. No matter how many times the priests will preach to us to stop, we cannot stop because it is in our nature to make mistakes and hurt ourselves in the process.

We always have to cry sometimes and let it all out, feeling all our discomforts and guilt when we are alone. We need feel discomfort to know what comfort is and what hate is to differentiate it from love because emotions and feelings are mysteries of the human nature we will never understand.

But we don't need to understand. We just need to cry sometimes.

Because after all the anger I felt towards her, it turned to regret and sadness. To lose a friendship like ours was like losing a fortune that took years of hardworking to make.

So when I was alone, I only cried.

The silent kind where you choke over your tears and lose your breath. The kind that makes you feel like there's something lodged in your throat, pushing down to your chest and conscience as a painful reminder.

It's easy saying "I don't care about you," to your friend but it's not easy anymore when you realise you were wrong when you're wasting your tears over them, reminiscing over good memories along with the bad ones, beating yourself up for what you did.

You know, I did all of that today. Now the wish on top on my wish list is to genuinely laugh because of someone in this damned town where I grew up.

yours truly,
stranger

written by: Lucie Erebus

a/n: it isn't my favourite but I made myself cry while writing this. I think I struck my own emotions.

also, I would like to thank -bluenoser for the wonderful picspam!! yaaaay