Mr. Deep: Let's start with something simple. Tell me about your-
Scout: Uh, no. Look moron. I don't know if you're a cop, some BLU Spy, or any other kind of freak. I ain't givin' you any in-fa-mation 'bout me, Got that?
Mr. Deep: I understand completely, Scout, but I wasn't asking about you. This is about your ally, the Pyro.
Scout: Oh... Well alright yeah. I can do that.
Mr. Deep: Well, tell me about your first impressions of Pyro.
Scout: My first job? Well when I first joined this team, almost everyone called me "little man", "boy", or "baby". I remember Demo calling me a "pint-sized mutt" once, just before that crazed doctor called me into his lab of an office. After that I-
Mr. Deep: Scout, I'm asking you about Pyro.
Scout: Yeah, yeah, I got it. Just hold ya freakin' horses. When Medic was done taking his stupid bird out of my gut, I saw Pyro sittin' in a chair. He was readin' some magazine while flickin' a lighter on and off. He didn't look at me. I didn't look at him. Medic called him in and he stood up and walked by me. He sounded like freakin' Vader breathin' through that gas mask of his.
Mr. Deep: Putting it simply, you don't really have much a connection to Pyro.
Scout: Yeah. I'm too busy being fast and furious. Wanna hear more about me?
Mr. Deep: Thanks, but I'm afraid you've wasted enough of my time as it is.
Scout: Come back when you want a real good story!
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Who is the Pyro?
FanfictionA reporter interviews the RED Mercs regarding their personal take on the identity of their mumbling comrade, the Pyro. These are his findings.