random shiat

Pessimist's Past

I looked back at all the old chapters and cringed so hard... I was really weird. Anyway, onto the story.

Pessimist and I have a game where we make up random people's backstories. So we decided to create a backstory for ourselves. This is her backstory. She also requested that she owned a disco.

***

Once there was a young girl named Ellie. Ellie Lou Who was born in 1957, when she would turn 10, it would be the beginning of disco. When she was 11 in 1968, she didn't wish for her two front teeth for Christmas, she wished for an afro. Poor Ellie Lou Who had a poor taste in fashion, and wore bell bottom disco pants and a large gold necklace, her afro in every school photo. She majored in business and music, and left college at 21 in debt and with a goal: to build her own Disco club. Ah, but what to name it? she thought as she searched for available buildings. Panic! At The Disco. It was the perfect name. It included her two favourite things, disco, and people panicking. When she opened her new club, no one came. It was 1978. Literally no one listened to disco anymore. Even though she boogied and woogied, no one else joined in with her. What a tragic fate Ellie Lou Who encountered. She became so bitter, so hateful, so pessimistic, she decided it wasn't worth it anymore. She tore the club down brick by brick, in spite of every human being who had moved on to other forms of music. 

"I will teach them. I will teach them all," She said aloud, surrounded by stubble of her old building. 

***

20 years later

It was finally complete. Ellie Lou Who, now 41 and unmarried, stood in a large building. It was a mall *gasp*! The stores were filled with disco apparel, wig stores, music stores, even a home renovation store that specialized in dance floors was open. Now, Ellie just had to get people to come. When she was getting the main mall sign, she told the workers to spell out PetSmart. The windows were covered with cat posters that said 'Groovy' and 'Dogs for Sale' with puppies wearing afros. This will attract people. It's 1998, if you don't have a pet you're considered horrible. 

Ellie's thoughts proved to be true, after one day of business, a crowd of customers gathered in the main plaza, confused and looking for pets. 

Suddenly, all of the doors closed and locked. The windows were sealed, and there was no way to contact the outside world. In a panic, the customers ran and screamed when disco music started playing over the loud speakers. Oh, how this had worked so well for Ellie Lou Who. 

"Everyone," a voice boomed over the loudspeaker, "I have gathered you here today to introduce you to my new mall! The Party In My Pants Disco Emporium!" 

The doors to the shops flew open, revealing the horrid 70's apparel. Everyone screamed. They had not wanted to be sucked into their parent's early Fads. The Seventies were a dark time for everyone. It was only socially acceptable to talk about it when you had to do a history report. Duh. It was like, one of the laws of Feminism.

"Buy stuff and wear it, otherwise you will never be allowed to leave ever again!" Ellie screamed, and shoppers reluctantly wore afro wigs and bell bottom pants. They listened to all of the Abba discs, then all of the Villiage People discs, and so on and so forth. Ellie had become a dictator. She convinced the people in the Emporium that anything other than Disco was lame asf, and should not be tolerated. Everyone obeyed. They cheered and supported Little Ellie Lou Who, until one day, Ellie released them into the world to spread Disco cheer. Only those who truly believed could spread Disco cheer and save the world! It had worked. By 1999, Ellie Lou Who had been elected president. She soon ruled all of North America, then South America, then all of the other countries in the world. The world was a boogie woogie palace! But, Ellie suffered one tragic day, and died. This caused major panic at the disco, and soon, everyone forgot about boogie woogie-ing, and lead normal lives. They had a FUNeral for Ellie. 

"Gosh Diddly Darn, I died," her tombstone read. She was buried at the Panic! at the Disco site, where she was never visited ever because everyone just wanted to forget about disco, ok. 

The End. 

p.s. she never paid off her student debt ):