Anthropophobia

Outside

Jack's POV:

I woke up in an empty bed. "Mark?" I rolled around groaning and looked at the clock. 5:47 AM. Great. I groaned again, but then sighed, as I realized, that I couldn't fall asleep again. I stared at the bedroom ceiling.
White.
"Go by faster." I looked at my alarm-clock again: 5:48 AM. I pushed the blankets away and sat on the edge of my bed. Where's Mark? I took a deep breath, then went into the corridor. I didn't know why, but without Mark I felt defenseless. In my own apartment.
I heard a soft snore from the bathroom. Mark! I sneaked into the bathroom and my expression suddenly changed.

Mark just wore a T-shirt - and underwear - so the three cuts on his wrist were exposed. When? Why? How?

My eyes watered, but I didn't want to cry. I couldn't cry now. Mark was the one, who was suffering, not I. Only on the inside.

I needed to put a bandage on. I stormed into the kitchen. Bandage. Bandage. Bandage! I ripped the drawers open. I need a fucking bandage! I started to panic.
Bedroom.
Living room.
Bathroom.
Kitchen.
Corridor.
The bandages where nowhere to be found.

Fuck! I sank to the ground. Should I just wake him up? I shook my head. No. Maybe he would be upset...
I buried my face in my hands and sat there like this for, at least, five minutes. I looked out of my kitchen window. No. That was, what a voice in my head screamed in this moment.
No! Don't go outside! Just wait, until Mark wakes up. But my body didn't obey. I went to my - or our - bedroom. I grabbed his keys and a few dollars.
I didn't asked myself, why I did this.
It's like when you breathe. You just breathe.
Okay, if you wouldn't breathe, you would die, but you get the point. I opened the door to the staircase slowly and looked outside. The walls have a different color now.
A warm orange. I personally liked it.

I took a deep breath and then made a step forward. And another. And a third. And the last step.
Four steps, which forced me, to suffer in the dephts of hell. It was actually just a staircase, but the feelings were still the same. I was scared, felt weak, defenseless, worthless and lonely.

I looked around and harkened. Nobody there. "Hello?" Silence, so I closed the door slowly behind me.
You're outside! You did it! I smiled happily, but then realized It's just the staircase. Which is a big step for me, but not actually outside. I walked down the stairs carefully and slowly, because I didn't want to get any attention. One step, second step. Pause.

It maybe had took me five minutes to go down two floors, but I hadn't been noticed by someone. Okay. Now you did it. And you can do the rest too. I opened the front door, but immediately turned around and accidentally slammed the door shut.
With a loud, umistakable bang.

Just stay silent. I heard, that a door was opened. Near me. Million thoughts flew trough my head.
Everything will be fine!
No it won't!
Mark will save me!
No. I'll die alone!
Everything-
"...alright?" I was interuppted by the voice of an old lady. "W-what di-id you say?" "Is everything alright young mister?" She stood only a few meters away. I nodded and she went back into her apartment. Damn! That was close. I sighed. Okay, okay. There is nobody on the street right now. I looked to the ground and opened the door. I was still looking to the ground, as I stepped outside and the cold and fresh morning breeze greeted me.
You. Are. Outside! I looked around. I was not looking at the ground anymore. Why should I? This was so exciting! Like a little boy in Disneyland. I think that describes my feelings the best. I saw the shop on the other side of the street.
No cars around. I could run over the street, because no one was around. Not even birds.

But I guessed it was okay anyways, there were no traffic lights in sight.
I walked over to the shop and the glass doors slid open. Wow!, I thought, this is cool! I walked inside. The smell of bread was in the air. Mhm. Maybe they have a 'bakery-thingy' in here...

I looked around. Were are these fuckin bandages? "Excuse me, may I help you?", a womans voice said. And my fear got me. Suddenly. Like a slap into the face. Everything came back. The numbness in my feet and arms, the shaking, my eyes watered and I stuttered. "Ba-ba-ban..." I couldn't even finish a single word. "Bandages?", the older woman, with grey hair and a polite smile, which I faced now, said. I just nodded in approval. "Oki, Doki!" She walked down the shelfrows and pointed to a few packages. "Bandages for...wait a second...2,45$." I searched for Marks money in my pockets. "2,50$" "Okay, than please come to t-"
"No! You just pick the money!" I placed it on the floor. " "If you mean so..." The seller took it.

I fuckin did it. I grinned and walked to the exit.

But as I realized that it was raining, I sighed. I couldn't run. I still had my pyjama on. I didn't left the house that much.

"Take my umbrella!", the older woman said. She reached out and I slowly took the umbrella. "Thank you, I-i gu-ess?" She shouted after me as I stepped outside. "Stop!" I turned around. Don't kill me! "Greetings to Mark; from Martha!" I was confused but nodded.

I smiled.
Maybe the world wasn't that evil, like always thought. Maybe the people were very nice and everyone was happy...

But at that moment, there was just one important thing:

Where I was:

OUTSIDE

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Looong chapter. Actually exactly 1000 words. Why this update came so fast? I don't know! I just thought: You have to update and to write! ^^
Hope you liked it.
ByeBye

(1:46 AM. Oh gosh. ;D)