Trigger warning: some content may be triggering for certain readers.
Connor awaited school uneasily. He was released from the hospital a week ago, and had spent the week in solitary trying to recover his head. His dad had left him two days ago to return to London for his conference. Cons dad was always going to be away now for meetings and work for his work required him away for a lot of the time and he was never able to stay home for long times.
It was Monday, and he had decided to return to school today, with major encouragement from his dad. He dreaded every moment he spent getting ready to leave for the vile place.
The walk to school for slow and painful and he limped pain shooting through his stomach to his head every time he took a step. Not to mention it hurt just to breath. Connor didn't want ppto go to school. He was pretty sure just seeing Amelia or Brad would send him over the edge, so only god knew why the fuck he kept walking.
Eventually he did reach the doors, limping in keeping his head low. Just like he was the first day of school. He had only really felt safe anywhere when he was with Brad. The boy had just given Connor a sense of security.
He was the first one in his math class, so he sat down at his desk pulling out his sketch book. He could hear the other kids start to spill into the room, but he tried to pick Brads voice out of them all.
"Brad, he's gone now you can be with me!" He heard Amelia plead to his ex. he dared to turn his head to see a hurt Brad leaning agains the wall of the classroom Amelia right up in his face.
"Im not into sluts, sorry." His insult would have meant so much more if his voice didn't sound like nothing could excite him anymore. Amelia huffed and stalked to her seat leaving Brad standing alone. He pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket after feeling it buzz. He couldn't help but smile when he saw Connors name while scrolling down his contacts in iMessages to find Tristan. Frowning again when he remember he would probably never contact that number again.
Brad still hadn't removed the heart next to Connors name in his contact list. He thought that would be the first thing anyone would do in the end of relationship. But he couldn't bring himself to even change his phone wallpaper witch was also happened to be Con.
He couldn't help but glance at the boy, who was leaned over looking at his lap, scrolling threw his phone which was placed between his legs on the desk chair.. Brad grasped his curls with one hand, shaking his head. He looks down at his phone again, the screen starting to dim as he places his finger on it and it lit right up again.
He turned off my phone, shoving it in my pocket to escape the urge to walk over and kiss him. He felt drained of all happiness. Like he was trapped in a room with no door, but no matter how loud he yelled, no one would ever hear him. Like a reverse blackhole and the world was just sucking him dry of any happy emotions. And the worst part was there was no escaping it, because how do you outrun your own feet?
**
At lunch that day Connor was confronted by Amelia at his locker. She pushed him into the cold metal scowling immensely. "How are you still walking!?" She hisses at the boy, grabbing the collar of his shirt. "Did you tell anyone!?"
"Errr... Ummm" Connor searches for a smart retort but even if he was to find one he wouldn't have the confidence to spit it out. Amelia just laughs coldly pushing him further into the locker, the lock digging into his lower back. Brad, please come! Brad where are you? He pleads to brad hopelessly, knowing Brad wouldn't come near his locker. Connor squeezed his eyes shut as he hears another voice behind Amelia's growling.
"Be mature Amelia and get off of Connor." Tristan chuckles after realizing what he said but doesn't hesitate to release Amelia's fist from Cons shirt. Connor opens his eyes to see Tristan shooing her off. She pointed at Con to catch his attention and shooting him a determined look before walking off. "You alright?" Tris asks the smaller boy and he nods shyly.
"Thank y-you." He says and it was Tristan's turn to nod before he too stalked off.
***
One day had felt like one million years, now imagine a whole week. Connor couldn't take it anymore. He burst into his empty house the next Monday after school silent tears streaming down his face as he threw his backpack to the side whipping his eyes with his palms. He then ran upstairs to his bathroom, staring into the mirror at his reflection. He had one of those cliché moments where all his memories with Brad flash through his mind causing his breath to start coming out in loud sobs.
He looks over at his the shelf near the mirror and he walks towards it, pulling down a basket to reveal a small piece of toilet paper with three small blades inside. It had been awhile since Connor had felt he needed to use these. Honestly Brad had been his medication. But now that he was stripped of that he felt he needed to resort back to his old ways.
He slowly pulled out one of the blades, bringing it across his wrist with a quick motion. The crimson blood started to run around his wrist and drop onto the tile floor as Connor once again brought the blade to his arm. He did this over and over again, only putting it down when he starts to feel dizzy, leaning over the sink. A small pool of blood had gathered underneath the boy and he stumbles backwards, staring at it from his new position on the floor.
"I'm sorry," He whispered to himself looking down at his arm that wasn't covered in bracelets, but instead blood. "I'm so sorry!" He wasn't exactly sure who he was apologizing to. Brad maybe. Himself. The floor that might end up stained red.
Connor stands up, the sharp pains in his one arm not enough as he starts to uneasily strip his other arm of its bracelets. Then he picks his blade back up going at it again, his stability slowly fading away as he started to sway until he feel back once again, now being supported by the wall. Maybe this is it. Connor tells himself as he slowly feels himself slipping away. Just then he hears the front door open and someone scream his name, but he didn't and couldn't respond.
---------------------------
So today I was looking through images in my safari bronnor search and I freaking saw the cover of this book! And it said, "top bronnor stories" underneath like WHAT THE FUCK!
That actually made my fucking year I love you guys, you're all solid <3
Christmas break it's gr8, never going back to school
- Katie <3
