Inside Of Me

Being strong

                  

July 16, 2014.

Ashley *Point Of View*

Everyone is either crying or trying not to cry. The whole church is filled with people, my friends are all here. Britany, Megan & Nessa. They are the best of friends and I wouldn't be who I am today without them. My family is pretty small, a lot of people are here though. I look over to my sister and she starts to cry. Oh shit, once she gets started... then I get started and there's no telling when I'll stop. It's almost over and it's time for me to say my eulogy.
"Last Thursday , I was driving in the car with my dad & we were starving and decided to get some Chick fi la. I really could've ate anything at that moment. Ariana Grande was on the radio, I'm really starting to like her. My dad was quiet & I was texting my best friend Britany. We finally got to chick fi la and the drive-thru line was long asf... but we still wasn't going inside. We were lazy. My dad started receiving a call from my sister Alexis & I decided to take the phone so I could talk to her. She sounded soooo mad, and even caught an attitude with me, for no reason. Well at least that's what I thought. I gave my dad his phone. His volume was pretty loud, I could hear their whole conversation and finally I heard my sister tell my dad "mommy died"
*Heart Stops*
A lot of people don't know this but at that time my mom had cancer. Stage four and I knew it was going to happen. I knew she was going to die, but it don't hit you until it happens, and that was the day that I knew I would never have a mother again."

The tears started to stream. "She's gone forever. I lost her and there is nothing I can do about it except miss her. It's funny because people try and say that I'm so strong and this and that, but I'm not this brave and strong person ready to take on the world... My mother died." Everyone looks at me, a couple of people actually started to clap. I walk out the church, my sister tried to follow me.
"Where are you going?" Alexis asked, while wiping her tears.
"I did what I had to do, and now I'm leaving, I'll see you later."
"I love you." I walked out the door got inside my car and drove away.

I drove all the way to Riverdale to my friend Dupree house. He kept calling me all day today but I wasn't answering anyone's calls. He didn't come to the funeral because he also lost a love one and he hated being at funerals. I didn't blame him, no one likes to think about a love one dying and having to actually face it. I text him to let him know I was outside and that I was trying to smoke. My girlfriends started texting me in our group message, I turned my phone off. I met Dupree through this guy RJ that I use to date. His real name is Robert and everyone calls him Rob or Robbie. I met him at a high school football game and I remember him just being so cute and he was tall, I loved me some tall boys. He wouldn't take his eyes off of me and when the game was over he approached me in the parking lot and demanded that I gave him my number, so I did. He would always crack jokes and took me on the best dates. I use to look forward to seeing him, and even though I wasn't planning on finding someone and making a commitment, he became my boyfriend right away. Things started to change after 9 months and it just wasn't meant to be. We dated for two years but he turned out to be a psycho. You know that channel that plays all those crazy ass shows... Investigation Discovery, at the end of our relationship he reminded me of one of those people on snapped. Psycho crazy. It's really pathetic that I originally started texting Dupree and talking to him just to get a reaction out of Rob. I know I sound crazy and petty, but I couldn't help it though, I use to really love RJ and sometimes I feel like I still do. He came into my life right after we found out my mom was sick and I put my all into our relationship and thought I would be with him forever. But like I said that shit is dead and I'm never going back.

Dupree *Point Of View*

Just received Ashley's text. I didn't think she would just show up like this.
"Bae?"
"Yes"
"Yo Ashley's outside" My room was pretty clean, smelled like straight up sex and weed. My girl came over last night, shit got intense. She looked at me while putting her bra back on "What y'all bout to do?" Kayla asked.
"She's tryna to smoke... Wassup?"
"Well you know I gotta go to work in two hours so imma head home now." Kayla said, almost sounding like she was mad. I ignored it. Ever since I told her about that one time with Ashley, she just don't trust me even though I wasn't even with her when it happened. The reason why she's not tripping right now is because she knows that her moms funeral was today and she don't wanna sound like a bitch. She went into the restroom and I went to go open the door. Ashley came out her car, Ashley had a big Afro and she was my only real friend that was a girl. We met through one of my boys from school. One night, there was nothing to do and we had a bottle of Vodka and wanted to get drunk with some girls, so we ended up going to Evans Mill high school. They was having a football game going on. But we didn't go for the game, I could care less about football and like I said we went for the girls. Rob saw Ashley first and just knew he was gonna smash. She looked good, I'm not gonna lie... body was on 10. Her Afro wasn't as big as it is now but she was gorgeous. They dated for a long time and even though Rob be thinking we be fucking and don't want me around her... We still be kicking it. She's just the homie, and I gotta girlfriend.

Ashley *Point Of View*

The funeral was the last thing on my mind. I saw Kaylas car parked out in the front and just knew it would be some shit. This girl is so threatened by me, I swear. Dupree opened the door looking like they just got done having sex. I started to smile a little, "Hey!" I said giving him a hug. Dupree was cute, not as cute as RJ but he was about 5'11 and he use to run track so he had a nice body. He was dark skin and had some really nice lips. But he was just the friend. It's really hard having guy friends because they always fall in love with me but Dupree was different. He was just the homie. Nothing ever happened between us except for that one night but we're not going to speak on that. He told me Kayla was in the bathroom and I went straight down stairs because I didn't feel like greeting her. Pebbles was down there sleep, but as soon as I got into the couch, he woke up. Sorry Pebbles. He was the cutest. He was not to big and not to small, dark brown and white, he loved when I would rub his stomach. What dog doesn't love when you rub their stomach?

Kayla *Point Of View*

I really can cut this bitch. Dupree know I don't play, and he invited her over here. I'm tryna to keep my calm right now, doing my hair in the bathroom. Damn, I need a new flat iron, this one sucks.
My relationship with Dupree is going good for the most part. This is my longest relationship with a guy. Ashley and I use to be friends before I found out her and Dupree shared one night together. That really pissed me off. Sometimes when he's sleeping I still go through his phone and read their messages and his messages with any other bitch. My friend Kristen is on her way to get me. That's my girl. We've been best friends since birth.
"Baby?" Dupree yelled from downstairs.
"What?"
"Kristen is here!"
I was relieved and happy that she was here. We worked at the same place. TGI- Friday's at the airport. Kristen is just like me but more loud and has no filter. I love it. She never did like Ashley though, she thinks she's secretly in love with Dupree and thinks she might try and steal him from me. Yeah right. I would love to see her try.

END OF THE FIRST PAGE.

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