Let the Sky Fall

Chapter 5: Loose Ends and New Turns

I watch the scene play out over and over again. Tony telling me he was proud, Steve telling me not to make it a habit, my thoughts that I was glad that everything had gone better than expected. But as we turn the corner, I knew I had jinxed it. One last Dalek, desperate to accomplish its mission, lying in wait until we let our guard down. I remember watching the energy beam come at me in slow motion, the sound of a repulsor from behind me, the intense heat, and then the blackness where I now sit, wondering what I could have done differently. Not just with the Daleks, but with the rest of my life. I wish I would have told my family that I loved them more often. I wish I would've taken the initiative to hang out with my friends more instead of fangirling all by my lonesome. I wish I would've told the Avengers how much they meant to me, not only as my idols and teachers, but as my friends.

Most of all, I wished I had told Steve that I cared for him more than anyone I'd ever met before I had died.

I think of all the different versions of the afterlife. Is this Heaven or Hell? I think its probably Hell. I'll never see anyone here, its just me and my thoughts, contemplating my life. But as I sort through the most recent events, I find some things that don't quite agree. Loki, saying I was important. The head doctor and the Daleks mentioning a bounty meant for me. A bounty greater than the value put on defeating the Doctor. If I was that important, how could I be dead?

As soon as I come to this realization, I start to feel like I'm lying down on something. Then I hear the steady beat of a heart monitor in the background. I'm not dead! I breathe in, taking deep breaths. Then I start to hyperventilate. But how am I not dead? The monitor starts to beep louder, alerting whoever is near to my accelerating heartbeat. There is a gentle squeeze on my hand as he speaks.

"Sidney?" Steve asks, quiet and hopeful. I open my eyes, and after they adjust to the brightness of the hospital room, are met by his kind baby blue eyes.

"Steve?" I'm flooded with relief, and my fear quiets down until there are only questions left. "What happened?"

"Tony's repulsor beam hit the Dalek's in midair and stopped it from hitting you. All you got was the excess heat from it. You've been out two days. Fury's as mad as hell that you acted without orders, and the WSC wants you detained, but there's not much they can do, because you saved the Earth and you don't technically exist in any database. They've given you an official pardon, and advise you not to do it again."

"I did what I had to."

"I know."

_______________________

I spent the next two days in the hospital, getting better and making sure there was no lasting damage. I was fine, aside from some psychological damage, but I did my best to hide it. The Daleks had joined the cast of my nightmares, as well as the doctor I had killed in revenge.

We didn't talk about that part of the mission. Everyone knew, but we avoided the subject. The only thing I can't figure out is the idea of a bounty and that strange beat of four. Da da da da. Da da da da. I know it from somewhere, but I can't figure it out.

My training is cut short, Fury's called the rest of the Avengers out to find ways to safeguard the portal should we be invaded again. Despite my obvious brilliance, I'm not invited to participate. I spend my days in the gym, kick boxing with the punching bags and trying not make it obvious that I'm losing my mind. I live in constant fear that something worse will happen or that I'll put more people in danger. The first couple of days I feel like I've been cast out. Now I feel like I'm isolating myself, in order to protect the people I care about. They try and talk to me when they have time off, trying to help me cope. Nat and I go out on little shopping trips or make bets on some of the other agents. Tony sent me a "Good job on helping me save the world, and you're welcome for saving you" miniature talking robot. Clint started a Nerf gun war that lasted about 45 minutes, before we ended up in the main control room and I hit Director Fury in the head. (It was an accident, I promise) But eventually they get called away to do something else and I'm left alone again.