Never Walk Alone

Chapter 18

And I thought it would be that way for a very long time. I almost started bawling again in school. When Darren came in through the school door, I wanted both to go hug him and to not even look at him. But to my surprise, Darren came straight up to me. I felt a rising hope in my stomach that I couldn't help. I wanted him to just apologize and we could be friends again. But I knew that wouldn't happen automatically. Which made impatience knaw through me the more I looked at him. He came to me and sat for a minutes, just staring at the wall. I wanted to try to get him to talk, but something in my insides made me freeze. Or maybe it was the fact that Darren was on the verge of tears.
"I wanted to see you yesterday and all of those weeks before; I really did," his tears began to leak out and he took a deep breath to stop them, "I was not mad yesterday; not at you, anyways. I hated myself that night and all of those weeks before when I made it seem like I didn't want to be friends with you anymore. I do, but it doesn't matter; it wouldn't last much longer, anyways-"

"What do you mean by any of this?" I blurted, although I didn't mean to. But it made me mad. "You do want to be my friend, but you don't. I don't understand! You've left me in the dark for too long, Darren! And I know you're struggling! But explain to me and I will help you! I-"

"I'm moving," he replied.

I stopped and put my hands back at my side. My heart was racing as I tried to process what exactly that meant. My face became heated as my mind tried to convince me to cry.

"Oh. Somewhere near...?"

He sighed, "Does the U.K. count?"

His expression was unreadable as he gathered his thoughts. My thoughts were probably clear as day; my face was red, my confusion had settled in permanently, but what overrided all of my emotions was my pain.

"Like.... Living there?" I asked stupidly.

"Yeah,"

"What about-"

"That's the reason I told myself to stay away from you. I'm leaving. I don't want to miss you as badly as I should. I know, it sounds incredibly selfish, but it was-"

"But maybe I want to see you before you leave forever!"

"I don't want to put you in pain because I'm leaving and I'm going to be gone forever! Do you really want to waste your time on me? It's not worth it, Annalise! Don't you understand?"

"Okay, so let me get this straight: you don't want to be friends with me with the last of your time you have before you move because you want to forget me?"

"This is for you, not for me! Because I'll never forget you, anyways! But maybe, at first I thought- maybe you could have a chance to find new friends and forget about me!"

I didn't say anything for a long time. I was still stricken over what he said:
"I'll never forget you, anyways!"

And it made me break down in tears. Because I was happy, sad, and angry all in one, and that is a dangerous combination.

"All I want to do is hang out with you! Like old times! Like the first time I met the Darren Mesworth; and he was funny, happy, exciting, and the best thing that ever happened to me! I'd never experienced a friend until I met you and you flipped my world upside down. You are a life-changer, Darren. Don't throw it all away," I whispered as I broke down in tears.

"I don't have a choice," he said gently.

"We have one choice: either we'll hang out like old times or we'll just forget each other," I muttered, hoping he'd pick the obvious one.

"I have three weeks,"

"Let's make it the best three weeks," I laughed and cried at the same time. It was so cheesy and stupid when I thought about it, but I was still in dangerous-crying-mode or whatever, so I wasn't sure exactly who in the school saw us screaming and crying and laughing all at once. I didn't really care. Darren was now laughing slightly, too. But we were still both wondering on the inside what we would do without each other around. I didn't want to just make new friends; it seemed unreal. All of it did.

Author's Note

Hey guys! I am thinking of finishing off this book soon (not yet, don't worry) but I'm thinking of doing a spinoff book! What do you think?

P.S. If you have any critiques, I would actually be glad to hear it! Or if you would just like to give some positive feedback, that's good with me too ;)