Status: SINGLE

CHAPTER 2 (Broken: I let him broke ME)

"I cried so many tears thinking that every tear that I would shed will ease the pain when he left ME." -ice

This is how it all started:

I was 23 and all my life back then, I was single. Not big of a deal, really. Sanay na ako na third wheel sa mga lakaran ng barkada na puro taken na. Sanay na tampulan ng katyaw kasi ako lang ang walang partner at higit sa lahat sanay na independent sa halos lahat ng bagay. Maganda naman ang takbo ng lahat; I am happy where my career is going, masaya yung family at friends ko at higit sa lahat nakukuha ko yung mga gusto ko. Sa panahon na iyon, I couldn't ask for more.

Love life nalang daw talaga yung kulang, sabi pa nila. Pero kung ako lang, pwede pa naman na wala kasi kuntento na ako sa pacrush-crush at kilig kilig lang sa mga love stories sa libro, telebisyon or sa movies man.

Late bloomer, yes that's what I am. Masyado kasi akong nag enjoy sa pagkabata kaya matagal akong nagkainteres sa mga bagay na may kinalaman sa opposite gender o di kaya sa love. Akala ko nga dati tomboy ako kasi, I never really felt anything with a guy. Until nakilala ko yung naging 1st boyfriend ko.

We met because of a common friend. He's like the 8th guy na i-nintroduced sa'kin. In fairness with my friends, napaka supportive naman talaga nila sa akin, especially na sa lovelife. Sayang din daw kasi yung ganda ko kung mabuburo lang.

Kaya yun, unang meeting..."Oops! Di ko type, gwapo nga pero parang walang substance." Kinda choosy din kasi ako pag may time.haha.

2nd time na pagkikita, he invited me to go to his place of worship (iba kasi religion namin). "Wow! God fearing naman pala. Sige nga mabigyan ng chance."

Then we went out for a couple more times. Hanggang sa hindi ko nalang namalayan, I've fallen for him na pala.

He courted me for a couple of months saka naging kami.

Yung akala ko na perfect life ko before him, it all changed. Iba pala yung feeling na may nag-aalala din sa'yo aside from your parents. Yung may sumusundo sa'yo kahit na late ka na maka-out sa work at paminsan umuulan pa. Yung sinuspoil ka sa mga favorite mo na pagkain. Masaya pala yung may sinicelebrate ka na monthsaries at anniversaries. At higit sa lahat masarap yung feeling na may nagbibigay ng affection at love sa'yo at may binibigyan ka rin in return.

During that time, I thought sya na. Mahal na mahal nya ako at ganun din ako sa kanya. My used to be independent world, started to revolve around his world. He eventually became my world.

Lahat ng hobbies ko, I set it aside na kasi I've devoted all my time to our relationship. Many compromises  were made but I thought it's all worth it; he was the guy I was hoping to be with all my life. I taught myself to be part of a totally different environment kasi yun ang akala ko na ikaliligaya nya. I supported him with his endeavors kahit na paminsan, hinahanap ko yung time na ako lang mag-isa. We became one, and I willingly did all that kasi mahal ko yung tao eh. Some of it were against my norms pero sa isip ko, it will make him happy and as his partner, that's my duty, it will make me happy kasi magiging happy din sya at paghappy kami both, it will strengthen our bond.

Kung sa simula ay akala ko sya ang dead na dead sa'kin, kalaunan, bumaliktad yung mundo. Then, nung ako na ang super head over heels with him, he became so reluctant. May mga panahon na napaka-distant nya sakin and that made me lose all the right senses to see what was coming right in front of my face.

I bended myself backward for him up to the point that I started to bend in any direction that he pleases. I thought I was in control pero mali, baliktad. I was eating in the palm of his hands without me knowing it. The love that I thought that changed my life for the better started to destroy me.