the ugly swan

✿Day 11(2)

✿ Day 11(2)

Eureka! I have figured out human beings. ­

Said no one ever.

Humans are complex, sometimes they have several motives for doing things. Mira realized this, as she stood under the orange hued sky, the chilly New York air caressing her skin. She stood in a balcony, filled with potted plants-okra with its bright white flowers shriveling- they would die soon, like everything else. If not saved, if not rescued- their frail lives would end. The ambience autumn held, the feeling of approaching darkness- bitter winter and yet there was hope. Yes, hope. Hope for summer, for brightness, that callousness of chapped skin would fade into soft, flush color.

Mrs. Chandra, in her wheelchair, hunched shoulders- the towering apartment building behind her- held defeat in her eyes. Mira knew she could never judge a mother. So as she told Mira a truth that been hidden behind her kind gestures, Mira didn't feel bitterness. She felt a strange jealousy instead.

"I lied to Yudishter." A mother was unravelling the web she had spun in the past nine days. The words were falling apart, just as Mira's heart was falling back into place. "That day, when Keirna and I were cleaning Yudishter book case, I came across a stack of letters." Suddenly panic was etched on her face, weaving through her age tired features. "Āpani bujhatē pērēchēna, Mira. You have to understand me, Mira. Why I did this." Wide-eyed, Mrs. Chandra's expression was nothing short of desperation.

"Were the letters addressed to Kaori?"

Mira clasped her left hand around the right wrist. The pulse, her heart was still beating.

She didn't seem surprised that Mira knew about Kaori. There was a strange understanding dawning upon Mrs. Chandra's features. "Yes. Dated. He had been writing to her every day. The letters only said one thing.... Over and over again..."

"What did they say?"

"I don't love you. Please come back."

Mira didn't know why the tear slipped from her eyes. Maybe because, from all the people in the world, Yuv didn't deserve this kind of pain. The man who had been fighting for the happiness of so many people didn't deserve any pain. His gentle, honey colored eyes drifted into Mira's vision- the ones that were cold today and warm yesterday. He was changing like the seasons. If Mira was a flower, he had been cratering her like summer. Now that he turned into a winter storm, Mira wondered if she would wilt again.

"Mrs. Chandra, Yuv will get better. He's a strong man." Mira stood tall, tried giving Mrs. Chandra a reassuring smile. Mrs. Chandra smiled, not in repercussion of her words but her own secret.

"For others, for you. I only did what was right for him."

"What was the lie you told him?"

"It wasn't an entirely a lie. "The way her eyes saw through Mira, she felt naked, bare, scared. For the first time, Mrs. Chandra's eyes held pity. "The moment you walked into my room, I knew who you were. In the Bengali community, word travels fast Mira. You couldn't have excepted to walk into another Bengali's house and not have them know who you were."

"I had hoped." Mira wanted to laugh at her folly, her naïve nature- the past even though she had abandoned it, would always be there. "I had hoped you wouldn't recognize me as Lalita's daughter. The woman who had tortured her daughter to the point she had to be hospitalized."

"Not just hospitalized. You were in a coma for six months. Your father, Bakhsh Shayma was in the Indian Army. He had recently died. Lalita was unable to handle the trauma and she regressed into severe depression."