the ugly swan

✿ Day 12 (2)

[Note]

I read each and every comment in the last chapter. I want to reply to every one of them but I don't know how to without become a bigger mess than I already am. It's safe to say I've been crying. Thank you guys for the overwhelming support. I didn't really expect that much of support.  I don't know. But I really did pull the gun on you guys, didn't I? I do get that you guys didn't have anything to say at times- but I hope you do realize that I am nothing without your support. I have no shame in admitting that more than I write for myself, I write for you so that is why at any point you feel anything is wrong, you can always tell me. I will always listen.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. 

with all the love I can muster,

Tallara

*meaning to these words are found at the end of the chapter.

Day 12 (2)

Outskirts of New York City, in a field of wild grass where there was a crowd gathered, hushed cries and an ocean of white clothes melting with the white snow. At center of it all was a body placed carefully on a bed made out of sandalwood and aspen logs. Mrs. Chandra's frozen lips, her lifeless body lay wrapped in a red cloth- she was adorned like a newlywed bride- there were bangles on her wrist, a gold embroidered cloth covering her hair, and the sweetest of smiles on her face, even though color had left her- the smile still remained.

Yudishter couldn't hear anything- all sounds had left the world. He was dressed in a white dhoti* -even in the cold December air, bare chested- with a single thread hanging along strong planes of his shoulders- he didn't shiver. His mind and body were too numb to register anything other than his dead mother lying on the pyre- waiting for the priest to stop talking, to stop reciting mantras* that would establish her place in heaven, to stop splaying droplets of rose water on the wooden stage.

It felt like his mother- in a few seconds would rise and hug him, tell him all of this was a terrible joke. She would wag her finger in annoyance "Yuv, tell me- where is my daughter-in-law?" The snow had begun falling again- it landed on his shoulder- melting instantly from the heat of his skin.

Mira was sobbing quietly beside him. She wore a white sari­­*- her curly hair covered her face as she tried hiding the tears. Mrs. Chandra had died in her sleep last night- the doctors had confirmed it to be a cardiac rest. The news had come as an unsuspected shock to Mira and Yuv.

Mr. Chandra stood at furthest end of the crowd- he appeared to be calm, collected- a strange daze in his eyes. He wore white linen pants and a long white tunic- he was tall just as Mrs. Chandra has described him to be. There was something about him that had struck Mira as a sensible man- he was quick to comfort Yudishter- who had been dangerously silent and in his son's silence, Mr. Chandra had sensed the waves of pain.

Yudishter tightly gripped Mira's hand as he watched his mother. Mira's grip was just as firm. She wasn't going to let him slip so easily.

The priest- the only one in color in his bright orange dhoti- gestured towards the torch. Its end was dipped in oil. Yuv's breaths became shallow beside Mira. He released her hand and headed towards the torch. With a strong flourish of his arm, he gripped the wooden stake.

The priest recited more mantras. He sprayed water from a golden metal pot onto Yuv. Yuv closed his eyes briefly as the droplets of water collided with his skin. He stood in such a stiff posture that Mira was afraid he would collapse.