Need You Here (Kenny X Butters)

California

30/11/2015- 02/12/2015

WARNING: This chapter will contain hints of prostitution, and substance abuse, so if you're sensitive to that kind of thing, I suggest not reading.

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Hello, again! So, I guess I should explain my weird posting/writing system? The date above is when all text below it would have been written. So, today, I just posted the first chapter of this story. So, I have no clue if it'll get any attention, but I like to write a few chapters ahead, but space out the posting time? If that makes sense? So, anyway.

I kinda forgot that this entire fanfiction was pretty much based on the song Lost in Hollywood by System of a Down. (You might have noticed a quote from it in the the first chapter.)

But, I would suggest listening to the song, in order to make more sense of this, and Kenny's point of view? And of course, I'll start out with a quote from it.

Please enjoy chapter 4!
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"...Those vicious streets are filled with strays. You should have never gone to Hollywood. They find you to time you. Say you're the best they've ever seen. You should have never trusted Hollywood." -Lost in Hollywood: System of a Down.

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Kenny McCormick

Those stares. They bore into me, into my soul. Picking apart every fiber of my being, trying to figure out why I left. Why I would abandon them.

And I can't tell them. Because I don't know for sure.

Every day that I was in South Park, I felt like I did now. The constant silent stares, all knowing, all hearing. Continuous gossiping. Nobody fully trusted me.

They thought that I was like my parents. To some degree, I guess I was. But I despised my parents; hated them with a passion.

I had nothing to live for after the death of my little sister, except for Butters.

I hated Stuart. Hated Carol. Hated Kevin. Hated Stan. Hated Kyle. Jesus, I fucking hated Cartman. Hated everyone, everything except for Butters and fucking Karen.

But one of the two good things in my life had been ripped away from me, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it.

I never told anyone. I'm sure they never even knew that she was dead- probably didn't care. I didn't think they would care if I left either. There wasn't anything there for me.

Again, except Butters.

But I'm terrible for him. I carried my father's genes. And so long as there was a chance that I would turn out like Stuart, I'll be damned if I even let Butters touch that with a ten foot pole.

So, I moved away. California was my choice. What the fuck was I thinking.

I don't even want to think about all the dumb ass shit I did when I got there. I wanted to drown out my sorrow for the loss of the only things I loved. And I knew I couldn't justify it to Butters if I came back- I owe him an explanation- I couldn't justify it to anyone.

In that moment, I turned into the very person in which I hated my entire life. I turned to alcohol and drugs instead of looking for real answers;

I gave in to the temptations of the city.

Selling off my body in order to get the high that I craved, countless faceless strangers taking advantage of me, as I just sat back, watching the cash roll in. I can't even remember how many times they would fuck me, beat the piss out of me, then run off with every penny I had. But I kept doing it. Survival of the fittest, huh?