Hey Angel. //h.s//

//I'm Kissing You//

//Harry//

I wanted her. That's it. Just her. I didn't want love, I never asked for her to enter my life, but there she was.

Her body stiff, slow breaths escaping her mouth, eyes closed to the outside. The clinical white sickened me. God, I hate the colour white.

Why now? Why is it now in my life that this happens? It had all fallen into place. My career, my love, my family. It was stable and moving forward in an orderly fashion. I was gone a week. One week. He found her, he hurt her. He caused this, he did unspeakable things to her.

I never wanted love, I made it perfectly clear from outset. My parents made me believe that no matter what, when it gets hard, give up. It saves heartache and cuts the bullshit. I never wanted love.

Yet here she is, the girl I have fallen madly in love with. Hell, I'm not even sure what love is? All I know is that I am barely surviving without it.

That's the golden question though right? What is love? I sure as hell don't know. What I do know is, is that it just hit me. Out of the blue, I looked at her and that was it for me. She is 'it' for me.

//2 WEEKS PRIOR//

We returned to the aquarium. I wanted to take her there before I left because it reminds me of when I decided I needed more of her. Her face had lit up when she spotted the fish, the smile creasing her eyes. She was happy, I was happy. She was healthy. I don't mean in the sense of her eating habits. I mean the dullness that he marked her with, was gone. The smile was no longer forced. Her hair shone, her eyes glistened. She was healthy.

She stood there for half an hour gazing up at as the jellyfish glide by. We stand in silence, I can't help but admire the elegance and beauty of her. My Helen of Troy. The beauty that could sail a thousand ships. The beauty that could start a war. I am in awe of her. I want to revel in her. 'You can stop staring now.' She laughs, her eyes not peeling from the jellyfish. I shake my head back into reality as my hand subconsciously reaches out for hers and she takes it. Her smaller hand fits perfectly within mine. My thumb stroking hers, her head rests against my shoulder.

That was it.

There she was. It was as if all the stars had aligned, Orion's three sisters would be envious of her radiance. She shone brighter than they ever have, or ever will. When I was younger my mother said to never look directly towards the sun, for fear if I were to stare to long I would go blind. But she never warned me of your beauty and how you radiate around me. I was blind for so long, I was without for so long. When you look towards the sun, there is the element of white and burning deep within. She never told me that is how I would feel with you.

I count my lucky stars that she is here with me. Bless'd be my stars, bless'd be thine. I am hers and she is mine.

//PRESENT//

That was how I knew. That was when I knew. That was why I knew. I was irrevocably hers.

Pride can stand
A thousand trials
The strong will never fall
But watching stars without You
My soul cried
Heaving heart is full of pain
Oh, oh, the aching

I sit in the chair next to her. My hand holds her limp one. Just as my thumb begins to gently across hers, I hear a knock at the door.

'Leave.' I spit. His face was fallen, his head heavy against his chest. If it hadn't have been him that caused this I would've almost have felt sorry for him.

'But-'

'Get out.' I spit louder this time, not caring if this wakes her. At least she will be awake. I hate this room, I hate him, I hate that I left her. Defenceless.

He leaves a clipboard on the table by the door and exits. Good fucking riddance. I ponder walking over to the desk and picking it up, I decide against it when I realise that this will become real.

'Please don't leave quite yet.'

'Cause I'm kissing you, oh
I'm kissing you

This girl has turned my world upside down, she has upset my routine, my mindless everyday routine. I can sleep without her, but I sleep better with her curing my loneliness. I've become comfortable and by doing that I entered the danger zone. I thought my life was just endless opportunities. Heck, I didn't know if I wanted to get married or have kids, but it was there as an option. Now it's all slipping away because the one person I don't think I can live without is currently in a coma or some kind of deep sleep. I don't understand, who I am kidding?

Touch me deep
Pure and true
Gift to me forever

My hand stays atop hers and now it is my turn to rest my head against her. I missed this, the simplicity of touching. The deafening silence slicing through me, my tears are unavoidable now. I let them fall, just like she did. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

'Cause I'm kissing you, oh
I'm kissing you

She was everything and nothing. She was simple, yet abstract. Now she is restricted to a hospital bed, her eyes permanently shut.

'Wake up Sleeping Beauty. I need you.' The nurse comes in to find my aching body, mind and soul slumped uncomfortably against the bed.

Here I am, selfish ol' me again. Why can't I be selfish? I need her back, I don't care if I am drastic or dramatic. I need her.

'These violent delights have violent
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume: the sweetest honey
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness And in the taste confounds the appetite:
Therefore love moderately; long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow'

Where are you now?
Where are you now?

'Cause I'm kissing you
I'm kissing you, oh