Letting Go [EXO FANFIC FOR D.O.] (discontinued)

PROLOGUE/PREVIEW

Sometimes you can't stay too long in one place because you just know you can't. Like you've been there too long and it's time to move on.

That's what I was thinking as my best friend, Baekhyun, drove the car down the highway to who-knows-where. A city maybe. Somewhere with a lot of people around and new scenery everywhere you turn. Somewhere where it was never quiet, where there were no silences that just couldn't be filled.

"Kyungsoo, what are you thinking?" He doesn't look at me as he gives me the question, one that I don't know how to answer.

I put my elbow on the door and rest my head in my hands. "That's a good question," is all I say in reply. I hear him sigh quietly, probably to try and prevent me from hearing his exasperation.

"You didn't used to be like this." I cringe when he says that. It's a sensitive topic. I put my arms down and look at him.

"I know. But it's not like I can go back to that now."

He does a little nod to acknowledge my response and shuts up.

"Why are you even coming with me?"

He sighs again. "That's a good question." And this time, I shut up.

A silence passes over us. I was waiting for the question that I knew he's just dying to ask. He finally spits it out. "Do you really want to leave this place?"

I hesitated for a second. Taking a deep breath, I sigh silently. "Yes. There's nothing here for me anymore."

Baekhyun looks at me for a split second, unaware of how to respond. I let him think over my answer.

"You're leaving behind a lot of people."

"I know. You didn't have to come with me. I could have gone alone."

"You know I'd never let you do that."

I chuckled at that. "Yeah I know, hyung."

There's a silence once again. I stare out the window, deep in thought. I close my eyes and listen to the smooth sound of the wheels spinning over the newly paved highway, and my thoughts wander. 

Even now, I don't know what I'm going to do. Even now, I'm still not sure what's going to happen to me, even though this was what I was planning on the whole time. I want to leave; it's my choice and it has been for a while. I never counted on Baekhyun coming with me. 

Baekhyun. My god. He had a bright future, one of the top students at school. He gave that up and decided to come with me instead of going off to college and pursuing it all. I turned to him, my eyes slightly widened as I registered that thought. He stared straight ahead with eyes full of determination, as if he's targeting something. For some reason, he chose to come with me. I wasn't going to let him regret that decision. 

"Hyung."

"Ne?"

I pause just to let myself think it over one more time. "Let's go to Seoul," is what I say.

He doesn't say anything for a while. There's much too many silences in this car ride for my liking. "Why?"

It barely sounds like a question. "Maybe we can make it big there."

He nods. "What do you plan to do?"

"Anything. To get away."

He nods again, then roughly pats my shoulder. "Let's go." 

I turn to him as he puts his hand back on the wheel. "Thanks."

"It's fine."

"I mean it."

"I know you do. Get some rest, okay? Just let your hyung drive. You've...been through a lot recently. I think it'd make us both feel better if you slept some."

I nodded seriously. I knew what he was implying. It was time for me to let myself escape from reality. Maybe it was time for me to stop thinking. So I listened to him. And I slept.

And I swear, right before I fell asleep, I heard him say to himself, "The poor kid deserves better."

But did I really?